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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

i cant take it any more

9 replies

ChopinRocks · 18/03/2007 21:03

My dd 8 is continually pushing the boundries with me. Tonight i felt very close to really losing it because all day when i asked her to do things i got "no" or words to that effect, i am continuously reminding her that the floor/settee isnt a bin/laundry basket, rolls her eyes when i sit and help her with her homework, wont do her reading. She is almost like a mini teenager.
She is rude to me in front of her grandparents.

Some of the time she is like this, some of the time she is a lovely child. She is quite bright (gifted and talented - music and english). She can just be so fucking hard work and i really dont know if i can take anymore.

Punishment system in place at the moment is for each time she says "no" she goes to bed twenty minutes earlier. Also, a few weeks back she missed a drama club session because of rude behavior.

Its turning me in to a grumpy person and i hate it.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

sazjaz · 18/03/2007 21:25

i totally know how u feel my ds is the same he is 8 also . he pushes me so far i think my heads gonna spin off . i have to leave the room . dunno if its an age thing i hope not or im in for a rough ride . my other kids are 7 4 and 1 , cant wait untill there teenagers , oh the fun im gonna have

Posey · 18/03/2007 21:45

Oh how I could've written this.
And your final sentence just sums it up for me too
My dd too can br lovely but also unbelievably stroppy, contrary, teenage.

There was another thread recently on the joys of 9 year olds and a lot of people said that they had had horrid 8-9 year olds who were easy as teens. So maybe we're just getting it now. But because they're so young they can't storm off out of the house for hours so we have to put up with it.

To be fair to my dd, she has been pretty easy for most of her life thus far and I think at times her terrible moods shock her as much as us

Come and find me again if you need to offload or compare notes!

Original poster

ChopinRocks · 18/03/2007 21:49

thanks posey and sazjaz. I will come and find you again cos sometimes i really think my head and heart will explode at the same time!

Glad its not just me - was beginning to think i was

a: crap mother who obviously has no idea
b: a complete lunatic!

OP posts:

TerraCloud · 19/03/2007 16:45

ChopinRocks- you can find me and vent anytime as I am going through this as well with my DSD (10 yrs old).

From talking with my other girlfriends, this stroppy tude is common (but frustrating as all hell).

You are not alone...

steinermum · 19/03/2007 17:12

You are definitely not alone and it is great to have a rant on here.

I've discovered something though. If they can make you lose your temper, it's a bit of a victory to them. So you have to say to yourself 'I am not even going to bother shouting, arguing, justifying etc' You say what you mean once only. If they argue you say 'I've told you what I expect' if they're rude you say 'I do not allow people to speak to me like that', all in a very calm, authoritative voice. If you can do it it can really change the power balance but you have to be really sure of your position and stick to it. A child ranting or tantruming in front of a really calm adult will soon start to feel a bit daft.

However, I know advice when you're looking for sympathy is the biggest wind-up, so apologies!!
Rant at me instead!!

Aloveheart · 19/03/2007 17:19

I could have written that too. Maybe it's hormonal more than bad behaviour. Try to ignore the bad and praise the good. sorry can';t be mroe help.

TerraCloud · 19/03/2007 18:12

excellent words of wisdom steinermum!

auntiflo · 19/03/2007 18:45

I'm with you all, isn't it a struggle! Steiner you're so right, I must try and follow your ways. Do you know Rudolph or just aspire to him?!

steinermum · 19/03/2007 19:01

Oh bloody hell, on another thread I've written about how I don't feel at all smug about my kids and now here I am spouting and sounding like I know it all!! Actually, what I said had nothing to do with old Rudolph - in fact one of the things that annoys me about some of the children's teachers are that they are just NOT authoritative enough and let the kids get away with some outrageous things. DH always said I spent too long justifying myself and explaining things to the kids when they were younger. I watched him and he was just so sure of himself, even though he'd never read a childcare book in his life. And the children did exactly as he told them.

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