My dd (14) has always been a sensitive child but did well at primary school and had friends. She has always struggled with Maths but is very artistic and her drawings are amazing.
Things have changed so much since she started high school. She has NEVER been outside the house by herself or with anyone accept an adult. She spends all her time on her Ipad drawing and has done for the last few years. Her drawings are all the same; they are characters from unusual games (Five nights at Freddy's) was the main one but there are others. They all look similar and are very unusual but very detailed. This is all she will do, over and over again and can spend all day doing this. Her personal hygiene is poor. She needs to be told to shower. She does nothing with her hair which always looks a complete mess but she won't let me help her with it and she refuses to tie it back.
We have recently returned from a week's holiday abroad. DD refused to go in the pool, never took off her hoodie or trainers even though it was very hot and did not want to do anything accept sit and draw on Ipad or paper ALL day. She quite happily sat in the room all day. She has a younger sister who swam and had fun and I remember how DD1 used to be like that.
It makes me so sad and I feel she's missing out on so much. She can often be rude to us and ignores other people who speak to her. Going out for meals was extremely hard as she hates the sound of us eating or drinking and will put her fingers in her ears and tut loudly. We found it awful while on holiday as we couldn't even enjoy a meal out with her. She has become vegetarian over the last couple of years and would only eat cheese pizza in every restaurant refusing anything else even dessert although I am certain she would have liked some. It was as though she was determined to stick to the same thing every day.
I have taken her to the GP in the past who referred her to CAMHS. They diagnosed social anxiety and started CBT with her. They ended up discharging her after a few sessions as they said she 'doesn't want to change' so the sessions wouldn't work. She is on the SEN radar at school but there is not much coming from them. Her recent school report shows her way below target for her Maths but she won't do anything to help this. She doesn't spend any time revising for exams and says she can't focus.
I have asked CAMHS if I should restrict her drawing on the Ipad in the hope that she may start to be interested in other things but they suggested I leave her to it as this is what she is happy doing. She literally does nothing else, doesn't watch TV or interact with anyone. She hates going anywhere and refuses to go to shops and doesn't like going out for meals or visiting family. She never chats to friends online or has any contacts in her phone. She tells me she has no friends at school and all the children at school annoy her. She just posts her art online for other like minded people to comment on.
We are finding it really hard to cope as a family and I have no clue how to parent her any more. I feel like taking her devices away completely just to see if eventually things will change. I really feel there may be more going on (Aspergers??) but we have never been offered a test for this and was told by the paediatrician after 5 minutes she definitely does not have this diagnosis as she made eye contact and laughed at his joke. She also hasn't always been like this (although always very sensitive but used to enjoy doing things). She used to dress up when she was younger and enjoy doing her hair. It was so different then.
Please please advise where I go from here as I literally have no idea and I feel that her life is being wasted. I do not feel that I am getting things right with her at all and our relationship at the moment is not good.