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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Sleeping Issues - Help! - 9 month old Will Not Go to Sleep At Night without Screaming!

9 replies

MSINPARIS · 18/03/2007 18:54

Hello Parents,
It's evening time, I am writing this as I listen to our darling 9 mth old scream his lungs out, again! He is perfect during the day - goes down for his 2 naps wide awake and sends himself off to sleep.

HOWEVER, when it comes to going to bed each night, after his dinner, bath and bottle of milk, he screams and cries absolutel blue murder for at least 45 minutes!!!. We have tried to let him cry for 5 - 10 mins at a time, not pick him up, try to settle him, before letting him crying again. We get so distressed, we end up giving him milk to settle him which I know is not good 'training'. I now worry if anyone else was to look after him. This has been happening for about 3 weeks.

I tried altering his day routine, feed him lunch earlier, afternoon nap earlier, to ensure he is tireder, but to no avail.

Any advise would be welcome!!!!

OP posts:

LilRedWG · 18/03/2007 18:56

Does he need a night light?

Try pick-up-put-down (Look up Baby Whisperer on Google).

Sorry, no more help, but hoped to keep bumped for you.

LucyJones · 18/03/2007 18:56

If milk si the only thing to settle him could he be hungry?

fullhouse · 18/03/2007 19:07

Hi, We have been through something similiar. Could it be seperation anxiety?
Have you tried the baby whisperers pu/pd method?
With our dd it was going on for about 2-3 months (if i remember rightly!) It's good that you are doing something now. After trying everything I'm afraid we had to do the control crying in the end. Even after trying the no-cry method.
CC worked in three nights. Now this is a persoanl choice and our dd was about 14 months old when we did.
The way i did it was : let hr cry for 2 mins, went back into room to reassure i was still there - never made a big fuss,NEVER picked her up, then after no more than a minute, leave the room regardless of whether she had stopped crying or not.
Then went in again at 3 mins, then 4 etc. but only went up to 8 mins. thenit was consistant at 8 mins. This lasted 45 mins in the first night, about 15mins the next and on the third night there was nothing, she went to sleep straight away.
Beaware, once you start this you have to carry on.
Also, we put a night light on in her room. This could have helped too.
I hope you find the right solution that works for you.
Good luck and hang on in there. It's only another phase that you have to go through!!!

fullhouse · 18/03/2007 19:08

Can't remeber who wrote the no-crying method. Shall look it up for you.

fullhouse · 18/03/2007 19:10

No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers By Elizabeth Pantley

Original poster

MSINPARIS · 18/03/2007 19:20

Thanks Ladies! He is still at it (husband attending!).
We have started to put a dim light on because we suspected it might have something to do with separation anxiety (but strange only at night?) and apparently typical at 9 months.
We also thought it might be hunger but he refuses to take all of his bottle before he goes to bed - only takes it after crying for 30 mins.
We will try the control crying method...and yes, agree, we have to persist with it.
This all started 3 weeks ago after he finished teething.

OP posts:

amidaiwish · 18/03/2007 19:50

does he seem tired?
maybe you need to move to just one daytime nap (can't remember what age this happens...)

DD1 was like this. def try a nightlight or leave a light on outside his room so it isn't too dark.

juuule · 18/03/2007 19:57

If cuddling him and giving him his milk settles him, what's wrong with doing that? It's a phase and it will pass. Some babies/children need more reassurance than others at different times.

dalstonmummy · 03/04/2008 11:18

Hi there - I'm coming to the thread a bit late, but maybe you're still checking it. We had something very similar at about 7 months with our dd - and I think it was separation anxiety kicking in at bedtime.

She went from happily going in her cot awake & falling asleep on her own, to going through the bedtime routine perfectly happily only to start screaming her head off as soon as I moved to put her in the cot. My guess is that she'd twigged that she was about to be left on her own & it sent her into a total panic.

We tried lots of different things, just like you're doing (nightlights, popping in & out to reassure her (which didn't work at all!) etc), but in the end I found what worked best for us was to switch her bedtime routine around a little bit. I had been giving her milk, then bath, story, bed; I swapped this around so that she had her milk last thing so that she was all calm and sleepy just before I put her in the cot.

The other thing I did (& still do) is to stay in her room until she goes to sleep - if I try to creep out any sooner she gets very upset. Sometimes I sing to her, mostly I just sit next to the cot & watch her. It's maybe not ideal, but I don't think she's forgotten how to get to sleep on her own as she can get back to sleep if she wakes in the night. I brush her teeth in her bedroom immediately after the milk, just with a little bit of toothpaste on the brush. And although it sometimes takes a little while, there's something rather wonderful about watching a baby fall asleep (& much nicer than listening to them scream). I wouldn't worry about giving him milk to settle him - if he's getting upset, it seems like the kindest thing to do.

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