Worried it's something more..

[MissesBloom]

I could really do with another opinion (other than my mum's who thinks I'm doing everything wrong)

All was fine with ds (4yrs old) until he started school last year. Admittedly I was very lucky with him. People used to ask me why and how he was so well behaved. He was chilled. Happy, made friends easily and listened to anything I asked of him. He doted on his baby sister and life was lovely.

Fast forward to now. Different kid. His behaviour is irrational and he swings from happy to angry and tearful really quickly.

He bit a child at school last week. I was horrified. It's just not his nature at all. He has never hit kicked or bitten another child before.

Every time we notice a change in his behaviour it's due to him being extremely tired. He is born in August so youngest in his reception class.

I really am at my wits end today. I'm just sat crying with him upstairs (sent to his room) and dd downstairs with me. He won't have a nap and I know he'll be a nightmare to get to bed tonight.

I don't know what to do and I feel like a huge failure. He starts every day as my happy little boy and by 1pm he changes and I can't do a thing about it.

I was wondering if this is usual for his age and how to help him. He used to skip off to bed happily by 7pm and looked forward to his book and cuddle. Now he fights tooth and nail to stay awake. Inevitably leaving him exhausted for the next day.

I do not have an ounce of patience left in me now by 4om and end most days upset and exhausted.

Anyone have any experience with this?

I'm sorry I don't but bumping for you and

So sweet thank you. Another awful day today.

Hoping someone will be along with a positive story soon.

I'm sorry you had an awful day. Also hoping someone who can help comes along soon. X

Hi, I also have a four year old who suffers exhaustion from his mornings at preschool- he was never the angel you describe as your son, but if it reassures you, both him and his classmates (according to conversations amongst the parents after school) behave exactly as your son does.

I don't, sadly, have a magic solution but I do find giving him something to eat IMMEDIATELY after school and having lunch ready as soon as we return seems to take the edge off a little.

There's also an app I use when he's having a temper tantrum called 'Settle Your Glitter' which encourages him to breathe with a little fish... seems to help...

I've always had a 'spirited' child so it's less of a shock to me, I can imagine how upsetting it must be if this is new. It sounds very normal though. If you're at all concerned speak to his class teacher, or even your local health visitor team, because they're not just for babies!

Hugs! This will pass!

Thanks

It is a huge shock. He was so passive and now wants to fight me on everything. I feel like just getting him ready for school or to leave the house is getting harder. He's full time at school now and I know he is knackered. I always take snacks now to school pick up as he goes nuclear if I don't.

I seem to start the day with loads of patience and by 4pm I'm yelling and I hate that. Have been to the doctors today and he's being sent for blood tests just to rule out anything wrong.

Hoping this is just a phase like they sometimes have and I'll have my child back soon. Have heard of the glitter jars that they sit and watch until they settle. They sound great to be honest. I just miss having my little buddy around . Feel like school has just 'changed' ds.
Anyway your post has made me feel a little better thanks so much.

I don't have a magic solution, but my DS went through a difficult phase (hitting, poor sleeping etc) and he did eventually come out the other side about 10 months later. My DS was a couple of years younger than yours so it was unrelated to school, but I could relate to the bits of your post that describe a change in personality and wanting to get your boy back. Although I totally understand this (and felt the same way myself) I don't think it's necessarily helpful to you right now.

At the end of the day, your DS sounds like a normal 4yo - there's nothing in your post which suggests anything unusual. It's come a shock to you, but all kids go through different phases and I think you need to stop feeling wistful for your angelic toddler and just accept that, at the moment, this is the phase your DS is going through and deal with it as best you can by being calm and consistent. Have you read How to Listen so Kids Talk and Talk so Kids Listen?

Good luck OP!

Thanks dark.

Have heard about that book and haven't read it yet but will order it tonight. Perhaps it'll break the cycle of argument we seem to get into every day.

Have had a more positive weekend as dh is home so an extra pair of hands. Am seeing things more clearly now.

We've gone back to his behaviour chart which seems to help. It's numbered one to ten and I move the peg up a number whenever he shows nice kind behaviour or is helpful in some way. I'm going to start focusing on him getting to bed like we did when he was tiny. I'm sure not enough sleep is behind all of this and even if not it can only help.

Ready to take on the coming week now at least and not so tearful. Am definitely going to speak to his teachers this week though so they're aware
thanks all for your advice