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Dealing with bad behaviour in 3.5 year old

5 replies

ProfessionalCynic · 01/06/2017 07:31

My daughter is 3 and a half. Up until a couple of months ago, she has been a generally well behaved little girl, although obviously there have been the usual tantrums to deal with. These tended to be few and far between, and felt manageable.

Over the past few weeks, her behaviour has changed, the tantrums have massively ramped up, become more frequent, longer, harder to deal with. Also triggered by seemingly nothing. She has become very fixated on things being a certain way - e.g. Where she sits, what she wears, etc. Clearly has discovered that she has free will, and doesn't HAVE to do as we say!

Unfortunately some unpleasant behaviours have started to emerge. She was never a hitter, but has started hitting out when she doesn't have her own way. This is instantly followed by time on the naughty step, or in her bedroom, which we do in a "super nanny" way, with explanation, silently returning to the step if she gets off, then cuddle and apology at the end.

The other thing she has recently been doing is weeing on the floor. She has been toilet trained for over a year, these are not accidents or forgetting to go to the toilet. She knows full well what she is doing. It is one of those things that absolutely infuriates me, but we have been trying hard to be low key about it, after reading that advice on here. So saying "oh dear. Wee goes in the toilet" and then getting her to put the wet clothes in the washing machine.

This morning she has already hit me because I told her she couldn't do something. She went to her room. When I went to get her after the allotted time, she had weed on her carpet.

So I'm asking, do I really just ignore this?! I feel it makes a complete mockery of the original punishment. I find it so hard to deal with, as to me it feels like a massive "fuck you!!!! And fuck your punishment!!!"

So here we are at 7:30am, and I feel the day has been set up badly with such a negative start, I am still sat in bed not really wanting to get up because I can't bear the idea that I will have to deal with more of this shit today.

Any ideas? In between the horrible behaviour, she is a kind, articulate, bright little girl. Also, very sensitive and a bit shy. She never hits other children, only me, and occasionally her dad.

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BackToBasics1808 · 01/06/2017 12:21

I could literally have written this post myself about my DS (just without the wetting part)
He, like your daughter was behaving fairly well then all of a sudden he seems to have changed in a teenager himself overnight. We are having meltdowns about the most trivial things from me opening a door and not him to giving him the wrong spoon!
I've tried ignoring, I've tried naughty step etc the one thing I am on with now is taking toys off him - we have a box and if he's naughty something is taken off him then if he is good (i.e. when I ask for his help and he does it or does something nice for his sister then he gets a toy back)
Its not easy - but I went through this whole stage with my DD when she was his age (and hers were a lot worse so I really feel for you)
I think he might be going through another growth spurt as cant seem to fill him at minute.
Stick with it - I was once told that it takes 3 days to change a habit and 7 days to break it so it will get easier shortly for you!
If you don't want to do the toy thing maybe look at a sticker chart - or reward chart for accidents / tantrums etc

BettyOBarley · 01/06/2017 14:39

We're going through something with our 3.5 year old at the moment, she seems to have had a personality change overnight too but rather than bad behaviour it's whinging/crying/lost confidence in everything...sounds like it could just be an age thing.. I can't fill her at the moment either so maybe it is linked to a growth spurt!

Highlove · 01/06/2017 19:14

Same here. I've posted about it already - she's driving us slightly bonkers. Yes - and eating like a horse, too! Hoping someone with wise words will be along very soon.

AradiasDaughter · 01/06/2017 22:42

No wise words but I'm in the same boat except I've got whinging and tantrumming all rolled into one with my newly turned 3 year old. I also have DS who's 2 soon and I think I'm beginning to lose my sanity.

totallywingingit · 03/06/2017 19:32

I have no words of wisdom really apart from Just keep being consistent and choose your battles wisely. I know exactly how you feel! After having 3 very quiet and placid DS's number 4 DS has been a shock to the systemFlowers

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