Worried 2.5 year old is developmentally delayed

[cobaltblue27]

Hi,

I have posted a lot on here about my struggles with DS1 who is now 2 and a half. The key thing we struggle with is his eating which has always been very difficult. He has a very limited range of foods he will eat, will outright refuse to try new things, and still needs a lot of spoon-feeding, distraction at mealtimes etc. He is fine physically, extremely tall, so is getting what he needs somehow but the eating has been so impossible and so extreme it has affected me and has contributed to my depression. I feel like such a failure.

However, now I am now worried about other things. At two, he barely spoke at all. His speech is coming on quite well now, and he chatters away, but not really so that you can have a conversation with him. He has never responded when we call his name, and rarely follows instructions. He has never waved nor clapped. He is very stubborn, and we have encountered some horrendous tantrums more recently. He can be very affectionate, wants to hold hands, cuddles etc (and asks for all these things). He gets very obsessed with particular toys, currently his dominos. In groups he won't join in with songs (he prefers to sit on my lap and listen), and has no attention span for crafts. He is very loud and physical, slamming doors and laughing 'big BANG!!'. It is exhausting. He is starting the nursery class of a school in September (he'll be three in November) and I'm worried he will be really behind the other children, and that they will say they can't have him because he is too behind and too disruptive. He seems very wilful and difficult.

I guess I'm really worried he may have autism. He doesn't seem close to potty-training yet, still sleeps in the middle of the day. I am starting to have nightmares that he will be in prison by the time he is 16 for being so loud and disruptive. How bad does he sound? Need advice and knowledge. I feel I have failed him.

First of all, you haven't failed him. He is still very young and he is making progress which is great and he sounds like a very sweet little boy.

You have mentioned some things I think would be wise to get a professional assessment on - not responding to his name, struggling to follow instructions and no waving or clapping. I'd get his hearing checked and an assessment by a Speech and Language Therapist. You should be able to access SALT directly by either a drop-in clinic or ringing the SALT department and making an appointment. It's probably worth getting him seen by a a pediatrician which is usually through the GP. Hearing may be through GP although that may vary from area to area.

Try not to worry too much about the future - I know the feeling well and I know how daunting it can all be. At 2.5/3. he will be far from the only child who is struggling with certain things, but it's best to get them looked at sooner rather than later. It's worth having a meeting with the nursery to discuss your concerns. A good nursery will help support him so don't be afraid to speak up about his needs.