Dd bit my Ds, what should I do?

[smellymelly]

DD is 21 months, ds is 4.5 and loves winding her up. But that is no excuse, dd has bitten him 3 times in the last week. This is to me completelt unacceptable, but I don't really know the best way to stop her. The first time she did it I bit her(quite gently) back and used time out. The 2nd time I slapped her hand and used time out, the 3rd time I used time out and shouted loudly. All these times I have given Ds lots of attention in front of dd, so she knows she is not the one to be getting it. None of these have worked.

Very proud of Ds though, as he doesn't retaliate, and she has really bruised him.

Worried she will start doing this to other kids at nursery etc, just because she is not getting her own way

What else can I try?

(Hate smacking by the way, but I thought it was justified in the circumstances, I do not make a habit of it I can asure you).

We had the same problem and it has disappeared as she has got older - similar age gap. It is pretty normal and in our case was limited to her brother (mainly) and us, so it could be that you don't get a repetition at nursery.

Try to think of it as just a form of expressing frustration such as hitting, shouting, screaming etc rather than aggression in itself. I found that it helped to give a firm "no", verbalise the cause ("yes I know you want that toy but you have to wait until he has finished" as that would be the preferable form of her expressing her frustration, and then remove her from the situation as you have been doing and ignore her.

We also smacked her hand on occasion too but that seemed to antagonise her rather than calm her to the point of her being able to verbalise the issue. Perhaps your dd's language skills aren't yet ready but I found it important to get her to say sorry, so there was a form of closure to the incident. It took a while to stop her doing it altogether but with a consistent approach there were fewer incidents quite quickly. In the meantime her language has developed rapidly so disputes are now primarily verbal!

Your ds is doing well not to retaliate but to some extent he needs to see that it is part of toddlerhood although that in itself is no excuse.

Hope you find a solution you are happy with

She's pretty young so understanding may be limited. our non-verbal autistic ds1 recently went through a pinching phase- he's 5 but language skills are at the 12 - 18 month level. The following strategy stopped him pinching children within 2 weeks (and adults didn't get it so often either).

Every time he pinched he was given a firm but fairly neutral "no". In other words no strong reposnse. What happened next depended on the situation. At home he was put outside the room for about 20 seconds (without any further fuss- calmly but firmly) and at school he was turned away by his LSA and she ignored him for 20 seconds. Nursery did the same as school.

Stopped it very quickly.

Anyone else please?

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