My ds has had problems since he started school. DS1 died at the age of 5 from cancer and it deeply affected DS2, they were close in age and ds2 shadowed ds1, he worshipped his big brother, then, he wasn't there anymore.
DS couldn't cope. He grieved for his brother and the grief turned to anger and frustration. Many of you will think, God, how to you cope with your child dying of cancer. Just think again, how does a 3 year old cope with never seeing his big brother again? He had councelling, so did I. He's been under a child pyschologist. All in all, I think he has coped very well, although he does still have aggressive outbursts, he is below national standards (according to school) for social development and is very immature emotionally. His bigest issue is with bonding with people, if he feels he's getting too close he'll pull away. He's scared if he allows himself to have that close bond again, something bad will happen and he'll get hurt. Due to this, he lashes out sometimes at school and thumps people. He's not a nasty kid, far from it. He is very loving and gentle and very thoughful most of the time. He now has a baby sister and he adores her, although he gets very upset if she's poorly.
Since reception, I have been called into school many times because DS has been sent to the headmaster for bad behaviour. I have always worked closely with the teachers and ds's pyschologist has also been into school for meetings with them. They were made aware of ds's circumstances when he started school. I've always kept them up to date. But still it seems DS has been labelled a naughty kid. If there is any trouble, he is blamed. I worked in the school for a while and some of the kids I worked with never had to go to the headteacher for things worse than what my son had done! I've heard from other kids that it wasn't DS, it was a year 3 boy that looks like him from the back, but DS got blamed! There is a boy in his class that winds him up and seems to enjoy getting him sent to the headteacher. He has been heard by a dinner lady threatening to get other boys and DS sent to the head teacher!
I've also had problems with him showing his privates! (not at school) An 8 year old is going around the school saying he wants to shag his friends mums! There seems to be inappropriate sexual behaviour in the toilets, showing others private parts etc. My son is 7 and I'm not happy about him being subjected to this.
DS has been threatened with exclusion for sicking his fingers up but i've seen the older boys doing that as they walk home from school, shouting and swaring across the road to each other. I think the teachers should do more to find the route of this behaviour because it's not something our kids are getting from home and taking to school, they are getting it from school in the first place!
My son was banned from xmas play too, for disruptive behaviour. I've heard from a TA i'm friendly with that he was no more disruptive than other boys in his class!
I've read on other parenting chat thingys similar stories, so it's obviously not isolated to DS's school, it's an issue in all schools. I have thought about moving him, but thats more disruption, taking him away from people he knows and probably would do more harm than good.
I do have other issues at the moment, kids are being made to do 100 monkey jumps if they are late! Surely that is humiliation? DS is very rarely late and if he is, it's due to traffic, not his fault, probably the case for most kids. Even if it's not the traffic, it's the parents that make the effort to get their kids to school on time Why should the kids be humiliated?!
Has anyone else got issues with their kids schools?