Concerned for 2.5 year old

[ohdeaeyme]

background:

the first 26 months of her life where living in a household with extreme DA

she is now 30 months and i have several concerns, i did a thread in aibu which prompted me to do some more researxh and i feel like things have been brought to my attention that i hadnt twigged about.

will do a list:

1. she prefers to play alone, she can play with me but she normally pushes me away and only actually accepts me when it involves building a track for something. She will play alongside other children but not with other children

1. obsessed with lining things up. this evening she lined all her cars up and they HAD to all be facing the same way. she got really upset when i turned one round. She couldnt identify any by colour nor could she sort.

1. struggles with changing activities

1. tried a sticker chart for behaviour management and she just doesnt get it, which causes huge meltdowns

1. she rarely feels pain. i often get her home and she has cut her knee but not made a peep or she bangs her head and doesnt react

1. she is fearless. strangers/dangerous objects/roads

1. very very busy, every childrens centre worker has commented on it

1. can be very aggressive towards me and her own self. head bangs/bangs hand against wall

1. hurts max and then laughs when you explain 'max is crying you made him sad'

10. absolutelu can not sit still. she will sit for a story if she has something to fiddle with

11. tooth brushing and hair brushing are ordeals

12. doesnt like getting mucky hands/clothes. if she spills something she HAS to cleab it up or wash her hands

13. wakes every hour at night

14. speech is a problem. has around 25 words, 10 of which are clear. just started saying 'no ma' when i ask her something

15. dollies and teddies cant have clothes on

16. cant do pairing

17..struggles with bigger or unorganised groups

18. she did have better speech than this this time last year. she lost it all and is building it again

19. doesnt understand questions about feelings like 'are you sad?' or 'are you hungry?'

20. can be really ahrd to get her attention

21. main ways she plays is by putting things into boxes and bags or lining things up. doesnt really play with much other than her kitchen or her dolls

is this likely to be down to an underlying cause or just because she had a crap start?

Biggest alarm bell for me is that she lost all her speech. Some of the other stuff sounds exactly like my 2.5 yo. I'd get her checked on the speech basis anyway

Some of the other stuff sounds OK to me, But the fact you said her speech was better and she lost it all I would definately contact your health visitor and see if she can put you in touch with the appropriate people about your concerns, Good luck

I agree with above posters that it would concern me that she lost all her speech. I think it was probably that you were both going through a very traumatic situation at the time so it was most likely caused by the stress of that. I think the environment probably has affected her so it's really hard to know whether she might also have an underlying problem. I don't think you should ignore your concerns. You both have been through a lot and would benefit from support. I would start by talking to your health visitor or GP.

Irrespective of the reasons you and DD would benefit from some support. Speak with HV and see if she can refer you to the local support service (e.g. Camhs early years, social services behaviour support).

thank you all. Inadvertantly DD ended up with some blood tests earlier after a febrile convulsion. It came back as her having moderate anemia which from what i have read can cause development problems.

going to speak to hv tomorrow