Why does ds become shy when I go to his school?

[saadia]

Ds1 is in Reception. He has thankfully settled in really well and is happy there but I've noticed something strange and wonder whether I am unknowingly contributing to it.

His teacher and nursery teacher always said that he is confident and lively and talks freely to everyone but, for some reason whenever I am speaking to his teachers he just clams up, put's his head down and talks really quietly and in fact most of the time doesn't speak at all. Does anyone have any explanations for this please?

BTW I am not at all overbearing or loud, do not talk over him, and I let him answer questions that are directed to him.

maybe it's odd for him to have you there; kids in school do develop their life away from mum, get used to being without mum, and interacting in their own way with others...maybe he feels he is 'different' at school and it feels odd to him to let you see that?

Maybe he feels 'put on the spot' when you're talking to the teachers - is it usually stuff about him? Maybe he doesn't like the spotlight being on him?

What do you think? He sounds a lovely boy, btw

thanks sunnysideup, I think you're right that he has a bit of an identity crisis when I am in "his space" IYSWIM. Yes you're right, we are usually talking about him. But I don't see that with the other children so I'm wondering why he does this and if there's anything I can do to stop him being so self-conscious. I suppose he will hopefully grow out of it.

i think he will grow out of it saadia. It's just at this age they are starting to get that sense of being aware of themselves and it's odd for them, but I'm sure your ds will find his way round it.

I've just noticed my ds is starting to go red if he feels embarrassed; he's five this year. Also if people (strangers) make conversation he's much less forthcoming than he used to be; he used to talk anyone into submission

It's a stage of course but it's a bit sad too.....

aahh that sounds so cute, yes it is a bit sad I guess, but as you say we have to let them figure some things out for themselves.