1yo dd throwing herself back in anger and banging her head v hard

[Cloudhopper]

Agggghhh. I don't know what to do with dd2 (1yo). When she gets a bit upset - getting upset with a toy or even something I can't identify, she will throw herself back really hard and bang her head really hard on whatever is behind her.

This is happening really often - anything from several times per hour to every 5 minutes.

Aside from worrying about her poor sore little head, I am concerned that this is a very poor behaviour pattern and it might indicate some deeper problem. I am shadowing her everywhere at present which is very tiring. This has been developing over the past few weeks, and unfortunately she has now started nursery where I can't keep an eye on her.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is it normal or is it worrying?

Hi, had similar experience with dd1.
I understand how scary/worrying/upsetting this can be.
In the end i completely ignored the behaviour,really really hard to do, but it did stop really quickly.
Hope this helps

My dd 3yro used to do this and I felt the same way you did. I often thought she must be doing her little head damage with what she was doing to her self. I asked my HV about it and she said as hard as it is you sometimes have to let them get on with it because like you and me if we do something that hurts we tend to stop. Obviously if she is on the extreme of knocking her self out then stepping in would be a good idea. The main reason for this imo is because it is a guarenteed way of getting attention because of how worried about her you are you woulnd't leave her to carry on with it. My dd stopped doing it after about 4months. Have you tried distracting her from doing this ie ah look theres a doggy out side wow doggy says woof woof etc just an idea hope it can be of some help!

When i say 'ignored'
i don't mean allow her to injure herself, i mean i didn't give her any positive or negative emotional responses at the time of head banging

Agree distraction is good.....if you can do it without panicking!

Thanks so much for responding. It is reassuring to know that some other children do this - did they have any longer term behavioural problems or was it just a phase? Because she is so young (12 months), I am finding it difficult to believe that it is an attention thing, but will definitely follow your advice.

alcyone - how old was your daughter when she did this?

amyandjess - you could be right about a guaranteed way of getting attention, because it doesn't half scare me. Mind you it it seems to be more motivated by frustration than attention - because she does it when i am not there as well.

Actually though, reflecting on it, the nursery haven't mentioned it at all which I found strange. If she is doing it to invoke a response in me then that would make a lot of sense!

To be honest, i really don't know!
I just know that when i stopped giving her the cuddles and kisses to make it all better, the behaviour stopped.She was about 14 months, give a take a couple of months, i think, she's 8 now (so hard to remember)and is right stroppy.
I think it was an attention thing, she was getting cross and frustrated and it all became a bit habitual as we were all 'making it better'

Hello,
I remember watching something about a child head banging on 'The baby whisperer' programe. Not sure if i remember this properly but form what i can recall...She had suggested that the parent quickly place a bean bag under the child when she began, so she would bang her head on the bag and not hurt herslf. Also she had suggested ignoring the behaviour after placing the beanbag, until she stops....i hope this helps.

alcyone - that is reassuring - 14mo is similar to 12mo, so there is a realistic chance of this being an attention thing. phew. i was starting to think it was a self-harm thing or something???

ash - i like the beanbag idea. there is no restriction on where or when she will do it. sometimes she will be standing up and will literally throw her whole body back. other times she is sitting down and will hit whatever is behind - nightmare if there is a cupboard corner or a toy on the floor.

i need a padded room! soft play later i think to try and work off some of the aggression.

Hope it all works out cloudhopper.
It's hard to relax about it, but,talking from experience and not as a professional,being stressed about it often makes it worse as you are waiting for the next strop and becomes easy to only focus on that behaviour

alycone - very good advice - thanks for helping me to calm down about it

the mumsnet mantra should be - deep breath, relax, ignore it and it will pass

Still doing that with stroppy dd1
"oh god it's sooooo unfair mummy"
8 now going on 13!
Breath, relax

my 18 month old charge has been doing this for the past 3 ish months (but its getting less frequent now)

i generally walk away and say nothing.... which makes him so cross he come squinnying back to me grrr.... toddlers and terrible twos lol!

anyway if it hurts they will soon learn not to do it!

Dont worry its COMPLETELY normal for children to do this, especially if the world isnt going their way!

lol - DS (18 months) does this all the time although it does seem to be getting less frequent. Time will tell...

I hope you are ok and you must really be worried. Has the Nursery reported that she is banging her head there too.