Being referred for development delay

[WeeWaspie]

So my lovely ds is 15 months. At his 1 year review (which actually took place a 10 months which i feel puts him at a complete disadvantage but that's another story) we failed miserably on the gross motor skills section so had to be reviewed again back in January.
At the January review we'd caught up on the gross motor skills but fell behind in communication, so needed a review again. At the most recent review, if I'm honest with myself there hasn't been any improvement. He doesn't respond to his name, doesn't speak any words (he'll babble), he doesn't point or make gestures I guess what he needs based on his routine and cues, he won't respond to questions etc.
He's had a hearing test but it didn't go so well with the earphones so was pretty inconclusive and we have to go back in 3 months. I think he can hear, well he can definitely hear mickey mouse on tv!
He's at a childminder and he doesn't think there is an issue with him.
We've been referred to the local multiagency group with the peaditricians, SALT etc. I had a good old cry over it.

I'm not sure what I really want from writing this? Reassurance? A good old vent? Has anyone experienced anything similar?

It is always difficult to hear someone tell you that there might be developmental issue with your dc. It's not what you are expecting when you strt planning your family, and doesn't cross most people's radars. However, from the little you have posted, you are clearly aware that he isn't doing things you'd expect "average" 15month olds to be doing, even allowing for the fact they are all different, and develop at their own pace.
All they are dong, is assessing him to see if there is anything long term that is going to need more support, or if there is just a delay, and, once again, looking at what can be put in place to support that delay.
It's perfectly possible they will decide 'nothing to be concerned about' - but you will have been reassured and life carries on as before. Or they will say 'slight delay - try this that and the other, and you will have some pointers as to how to help him catch up a little bit. Or they might do a few more investigations to rule out any underlying conditions. Or they may refer to one specialist or another for further support.
At this stage, no-one knows, hence the MDA to spend time with him.
It may be they find something that is easily overcome - for example you mention possible hearing issues, it may be that an aid, or a grommits operation would resolve the issues, and then , by it being picked up this early, he will not miss out on hearing certain frequency sounds over the next couple of years, and you will be really pleased it was picked up early, rather than him missing all that learning for the next 2 or 3 years.
If ther is a physical issue, then knowing what exercises to do can once again make all the difference. If there is a speech issue, then strategies from the SaLT at this stage can have a massive impact, and so on and so forth.
Try to look at it that way - if there is an issue (or issues) the earlier it is identified, the sooner intervention starts, and the better the impact.

My dd is 15 months on the 16th of may .
She doesn't point, no words ( babbles ), no gestures either .
I also guess what she wants all the time .

My 16 month old is the same, but hv wasn't concerned at her check.
In fact my 2 year old didn't point,say any words,understand anything at 23 months.
Now a few months months later he is speaking loads, will point and can understand most things.
Children are individuals and will do things when there ready (not when the 1 year check comes around).

I know it's hard but it's a good thing they are checking on him just incase there is something more going on.

My DH had developmental delay, he didn't really speak till he was 3, everyone was concerned. Turns out he was just being lazy! He's absolutely fine now, and has just started a career as an airline pilot- so his motor skills/coordination /spacial awareness are top notch!
I suppose I'm saying don't be unduly concerned at this point if the childminder isn't worried

My son was just like your son, I was really worried he is just coming up to 3 years old and now is actively trying to speak although its not clear I am just so thankful he is more with it now, He was really behind mentally. He responds to everything now and understands me.
Things can change don't worry.
I also highly recommend the PEC method in helping him to communicate my son snowballed mentally when we started that its like someone switched a light on, You can buy pec symbols on ebay.

As a mum of a son with a developmental delay I would say that if he did have additional needs it isn't all doom and gloom. He will still be your child with all the characteristics there were before. Our son is just as much of a joy and a pain in the bum as his sisters who are developmentally normal.

Be reassured that he is being seen. He is not staggeringly behind and it is no reflection on your parenting. I only say this as I took my son's delay as a personal slight.

It's hard to accept but if he does have difficulties early intervention makes a big difference. Many children with developmental delay don't get help this early so he is lucky.

Thank you everyone. I am glad for the early intervention, as if there is an issue we can get the support now rather than face the massive fight I know some people go through.
He is such a beautiful boy with such a character on him. He has a stubborn streak a mile wide, a love for cars and balls and couple become a competitive blueberry eater if all else fails.
I suppose every so often a stray thought catches me where I wonder what I did/am doing wrong, just for a few minutes but it's enough to make you question everything

Hello @WeeWaspie, just read this thread I know it’s old but I’d love to know how your son has progressed now as it’s been over 3years. I am in the same situation you were. My dd is 15months and doesn’t crawl or walk or talk, she doesn’t babble either more of just humming sound, she is a happy content baby. She doesn’t respond to her name but I know she can hear and responds to noises or looks when someone says something. I feel she doesn’t u understand anything it’s so hard not knowing what the cause is or how she will be in a few years.

Would love to hear from any mums that were in similar situation

Thankyou

@Sabu1234 my son 'failed' in 2 areas of his 10 month ASQ, and was in the grey for the rest except for just one area that he scored well in. He's now pretty much entirely caught up. He crawled, walked and talked late and I didn't think he understood anything at all... but now at 2 years old he's doing great and we are so relieved. Hope this gives you a little reassurance!

@surreygirl1987 Awwwww so pleased to hear. My dd is 15m and is not interested in her siblings much, plays with toys here and there. No clapping no pointing I feel she she just doesn’t understand anything. She makes good eye contact, lifts her arms up to be picked up by me or her dad. She lives her grandad too. I feel she’s behind in all the areas... so so worried and all I do constantly is go on google, have sleepless nights and constant worry! It’s so hard when I’m with other mums who have children same age and are hitting all their milestones. I worry for her future 😢

Honestly that sounds like me... I googled all the time and even when he caught up in one area there was always something else to worry about! But all it does is waste the precious months of them being young... You should be enjoying it rather than, as I was, willing him to grow up so I could see if he was okay 😭 seriously, whatever will be will be and SO many of my friends have had worries about their children and they've caught up!

@surreygirl1987 your right I feel I’m not enjoying her at times and just worrying. Wish I could look into the future what she’d be like at 3y! Lol... How old was your son when he started crawling and walking?

10 and a half months he started crawling but didn't hear weight until around a year old! Started walking at 16 months. Now he's 2 and running everywhere! The trouble is there's always going to be something to worry about.

@Sabu1234 how is your DD doing now?

@ttrrii hello, well my dd is now over two. She still isn’t walking or crawling however she has started to furniture cruise a little bit. She doesn’t talk and doesn’t understand. But she makes a lot of eye contact. She doesn’t play with toys the typical way has her selection of toys which she likes to play with. There’s progress but all in her time. No diagnosis has been given to her. She’s a calm happy girl. How is your dc? @ttrrii