Nighttime pull-ups at 5... and DMs reaction

[CustardLover]

My DS(5) is still in pull ups at night. He's not wet every night but perhaps 1 in 2/3. He's in the top bunk and does wake up to go and do a wee in the night sometimes - he has a touch nightlight for this purpose plus we have a motion sensor light outside his bedroom door which turns on when he leaves his bed, both of which mean he has good illumination when going to the loo. We have been pretty relaxed about it and he still wear pull-ups - we have tried him without for a few weeks at a time but the constant waking him and changing the bed was making him exhausted in the morning. To be clear, he hardly ever work when wet himself - we discovered he was wet when checking on him and then work him to change him. The doctor isn't worried about it. However, my DM had (another - fairly typical) meltdown about his pull-ups this afternoon, stating that 'it's not normal' and that it was 'neglect' because he is in a bunk bed and therefore doesn't want to leave the bed to use the toilet, and that I am both psychologically and physically damaging him. Now, as I said mainly he sleeps through being wet and we just discover it in the morning or if we check on him before going to bed so the logic doesn't necessarily chime for me (e.g. It's not like he's waking up because he needs to go to the loo but then not going because he's scared to, as my mum seems to be claiming) but, following a monumental row, as usual, I am now worrying if she is right and if I am holding my son back by a) allowing him pull-ups and b) having him in a bunk. Is she right? Should I change things?

Ds2 is a very heavy sleeper and has only started reliably waking up if he needs the loo in the night age 9. Luckily he rarely needs to go to the loo in the night but until this year would definitely wet if he did. Its totally normal, just a pain.

Your mum sounds like a total loon. I would be extremely worried about her behaviour damaging your dons - perhaps it would be better if she never had sole charge of them?

Your mum sounds utterly barking. I know lots of kids age 5/6 still in pull-ups. Obviously I'll let you know in 10/15 years of it makes them all gay.

Honestly, she really sounds quite mad. You poor thing; I thought mine had some funny ideas but nothing on yours.

She's a genius. She's found a cure for the gay. Let's burn all pull ups and bunk.beds.

What the absolute fuck has she been snorting?

My dd is 6 and she would have problems getting herself in and out of a bunk bed

Thank you all, for both pull-up/bunkbed advice and sympathy!

My twin ds who are 5 and in a bunk bed are in pull ups. We held off bunk beds and spent a year changing beds nightly and washing 4 loads a day ! We gave up when we could no longer wedge them into toddler beds. And with a huge sigh of releif went back to pull ups. If they turn out to be gay it's not the pull ups. They were wearing heels and sparkly dresses before we went back to pull ups !

DD1 was 6 1/2 before she stopped wetting the bed. DD2 was 2.3 and DS1 was 2.6. All of them just did it in their own time and I was quite shocked when the second 2 became dry at night at the same time as becoming dry in the day because I thought my experience with DD1 was fairly typical. We did nothing different with any of them and from this discovered that some children are quicker at it than others. DD1 was just a very heavy sleeper.

Neglect would be leaving your son in a sodden bed. My DD (4) fills her nappy every night, and it sometimes overflows (oh joy). She knows that most of her friends don't wear nappies at night because she has asked them, but I've said that until she has a week of dry nights (we've had one or two in her life!), she has to keep wearing them (I would consider pullups). One of her friends is the daughter of a GP, who said don't worry until she's 7.

Incidentally, a 3 yo who lies is fairly advanced - I got the impression that normally started at 4 It's a really important developmental stage, showing that he understands that others don't have the knowledge he does if they didn't see something, i.e. they have their own minds, they don't share his. Though I'm not sure your DM will be convinced.