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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

At what age can children start to have sleepovers without a parent there?

13 replies

FrannyandZooey · 11/03/2007 22:07

Ds is nearly 4. I have mentioned this to a couple of my friends but they just laughed

Do they not trust me with their children or is it much too early to be trying this? I thought it would be kind of exciting for them.

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fryalot · 11/03/2007 22:09

I think i misread the thread title. You are going to be there, aren't you? It's just the other kids' parents who won't be?

In that case, I would say around about this age, if you know them well. Later if not.

Soapbox · 11/03/2007 22:09

Too young I think unless they are close friends of the family and the children know you really well.

For general friends of children I would say 5 or 6 is about right. My DD went to her first when she was 5, but DS still isn't keen to go anywhere and he is almost 7. He has had a couple of sleepovers here though.

hunkerkerplunker · 11/03/2007 22:11

How would DS be about going on a sleepover?

brimfull · 11/03/2007 22:13

my dd went at 4 yrs ,but that was across the road to really close friends.Ds is 4.5 and he would only go to family/close friends,he seems to young to me for sleepovers.

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 11/03/2007 22:14

LOL yes I meant without both sets of parents there, sorry

Hunker I don't know, I think he might like it, if it was friends of ours who are nearby (we have 2 who are literally one short street away)

I haven't asked him because I don't want him to get excited about it unless it is going to happen, and from the other parents' reactions, it isn't.

I think on the whole ds would enjoy it but might be quite likely to wake up in the middle of the night. I don't expect the other parents would be too chuffed

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SofiaAmes · 12/03/2007 06:11

My dd (now 4) has been happy to go to other people's houses for sleepovers since she was 3 (ds, now 6, would have quite happily gone at 2 if I had let him). However, I am finding that so far almost no one wants to let their own 3 year old or even 4 or 5 or 6 year old come over to our house for a sleepover. I'm fairly sure that this isn't about me and my parenting skills as they don't seem to be going to anyone else's house either. I think it's mostly that they are worried that their children will wake up and miss them.

NotQuiteCockney · 12/03/2007 06:27

I know people who've done sleepovers with two-year-olds, but it really depends on the parents. It sounds like quite a nice idea, being able to have a real night off, and the kids would really enjoy it.

My DS1 has been asking for it for ages, but the nearest friend, who'd be easiest to do it with, he's gone off her daughter, iyswim. So it just hasn't happened.

trillium · 12/03/2007 06:48

Finding this very interesting.

Dd is just seven and has been asking to go on sleepovers for about a year....it's me that's not so keen.

Probably being very precious, but her friends (all a year or so older than her) have older brothers and sisters/late bedtimes/parents that smoke/watch tv that I consider sort of innapropriate (tbh as we don't have a tv I consider most tv innapropriate )

I have no problems with inviting any of them here for a sleepover but thought it would be awkward if they wanted to recipricate....

..... do also wonder if dd might want to come home halfway through night ( we live ten miles away from friends )

Do you think I'm being unreasonable

Btw, Franny, if the parents and children are very close friends and you parent along similar lines and live close by then, I wouldn't have a problem I don't think.

RustyBear · 12/03/2007 07:17

From what my two have said, it's not the evening/ night they worry about, it's the morning - you need to make sure they know what will happen , when they can get up etc - they can really get worried about other people's rules and what they do in the morning - on her first sleepover (year 2) on a holiday weekday - her friends dad was complaining because DD was in the bathroom when he got up - I don't think he was nasty about it, more jokng that she'd made him late for work, but it upset her.

Hulababy · 12/03/2007 09:39

Only p;lace DD stays over with me or DH is at her grandparents. She is almost 5.

A couple of her school friends have wanted sleepovers but I am not ready for that yet. I think it is too early, and certainly when i posted about it on MN at the end of last year, most people seemed to feel that it was too early.

DD is not great regards sleeping and non consistently dry at night either, so not ideal yet for us. And then first times it would have to be with families we know well.

Dd is already excited enough about going on holiday with friends and sharing a room, with both parents present, so that is enough for us for now!

sunnysideup · 12/03/2007 10:12

ds is five this year and has not had a sleepover yet - not even with his grandparents!

He has asked for one once, but his version of sleepover meant me going as well, which I duly did....granny and ds both as bad as eachother, talking till all hours, waking up in middle of the night and talking again..... DS may be keen to repeat it but I'm bleedin' well not, at least I get a night's sleep at home...probably we all had about 2 hours kip that night so am not keen to offer it again until he's happy for a sleepover to be without me there!!!

I certainly wouldn't object to ds going for sleepovers with very close friends if that's what he wanted, but he doesn't want that anyway at the moment. Maybe franny your friends' kids would be the same?

mumeeee · 12/03/2007 23:48

To young at four. My eldest went on her first sleepover at 9 and this seemedto be the right age.

crystalpony · 12/03/2007 23:53

We've had our dd best friend a couple of times - they're both 4. Hilarious really, as they were rabbiting on til about ten o'clock, long after I'd read them a story and tucked them up. I was just thinking, what the heck can they be talking about til this time - they're FOUR fgs!! (And being four they had no concept of whispering a la teenagers!!)

However, my dd refuses to stay at her friends house, or rather she will as long as I sleep over with her too! . Think I'm a bit old for sleepovers now!

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