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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

3.8 year old daughter grinding herself a lot

14 replies

DavetheCat2001 · 09/04/2017 19:00

Can anyone just put my mind at rest that this is a normal thing/stage?

In the last few weeks DD has started, for want of a better word, trying to hump our legs whilst we are sitting on the sofa. It's clear what she is doing, and she gets quite red and hot whilst doing it, and if you try to stop her or move your leg, she gets really stroppy and cries.

She seems to do it in the evening when she is getting tired. She often asks 'can I hug your leg?' to either myself or DS (6), and has tried it with OH as well.

Maybe I'm being naive as I am aware that little boys find their bits when they are little, but this is just a bit more worrying for some reason. I'm wondering if she may be a bit itchy down below/thrush maybe? However she doesn't seem itchy during the day at all and doesn't look sore down below.

Anyone got any advice? Should I just ignore and not make a big deal of it? I have started saying no when she tries to start, and often this ends with a strop and crying.

Auugh..she's only 3!

OP posts:

ShelaghTurner · 09/04/2017 19:10

Nope, she's doing what you think she's doing. Little girls like to explore too. It's all natural, my 5yo does something similar and I'm very careful to try to stop her doing it in public whilst not making her think that it's wrong, because it isn't. It just needs to be private. My dd knows it's for bedrooms and bathrooms and she generally sticks to that.

Original poster

DavetheCat2001 · 09/04/2017 20:38

Yes fair enough. Have to say I'm not keen on letting her use mine or my DS's legs to explore herself with though, just feels wrong.

OP posts:

P1nkP0ppy · 09/04/2017 20:40

Have you checked for threadworms op?

TheElephantofSurprise · 09/04/2017 20:42

Explain to her that you can't use other people's legs for that! Private means private.

creaser · 09/04/2017 20:56

My Neices did this between about 2-4 completely normal just not against your leg and definitely not DS . I would encourage her to have a favourite Teddy or something to do it to and then ignore it it will pass.

ShelaghTurner · 09/04/2017 21:03

No definitely not using other people! Didn't mean it to sound like that. My dd lies on the floor, was interesting when she was younger and used to do it in church!

HeyRoly · 09/04/2017 21:06

Yep, it's masturbation. Yep, it's normal and OK. But you will obviously need to have a chat along the lines of "yes it feels nice but it's a private thing" and keep reiterating that if she starts doing it publically.

I know how uneasy you feel though! Just be matter of fact, don't shame her but make sure she knows it's inappropriate to hump you

Original poster

DavetheCat2001 · 09/04/2017 21:10

Thanks chaps, I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it, I think I was just a bit shocked when she started doing it, and the tantrum when I withdrew my leg was something else!

I didn't think of threadworms as she hasn't got an itchy bottom. Maybe I should take her to the GP just to check she doesn't have any issues down below.

Thanks for the advice!

OP posts:

mylongawaitedlife · 11/04/2017 22:29

My DD does this. It started when she was about 8 months, so nearly 3 years ago.

She will do this to anything, but especially teddies and cushions, they are singled out for 'special' attention

Unfortunately she also likes to use my leg, and furniture - today I had to stop her out twice while out shopping, once in Starbucks on a sofa, once while I was trying a dress on, she got up on the arm of an old leather armchair in the middle of a crowded shop - you should have seen the open mouthed look on the 2 older ladies who walked by!

Inside, I keep reiterating that this is something she can do in her room, in private, with teddy. Outside, I just calmly but firmly tell her to get down and sit properly. She has no idea of the scene she is causing.

Original poster

DavetheCat2001 · 12/04/2017 08:45

Glad to hear it's not just me!

Thinking about it, My DD has always 'strained' against her car seat straps from babyhood. I was worried at the time that she may have a back problem and took her to the Dr, but nothing was found.

Now I see it was probably the rubbing sensation she was getting by pushing against the straps! Used to ask her 'why are you doing that?' and she'd say 'because I like it'!

Fair play!

OP posts:

ShelaghTurner · 12/04/2017 09:07

DD2 says she's sucking up the cold from the floor. God knows what that means!

ThatAnneRobinson · 12/04/2017 13:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

DavetheCat2001 · 14/04/2017 10:59

We're currently in the car heading up to the inlaws, and DD is having a good old grind on her carseat straps!

OP posts:

SpookyPotato · 14/04/2017 12:08

OP you sound like you're approaching it the right way! I remember rubbing myself on allsorts as soon as I can remember, mainly teddies.. I also laid on my front on my bed with my hands bunched up under my crotch and grinded. It just felt good. (Still do it and I'm 30..) It's all natural but yes private.

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