shyness

[interesting]

we've got a 2.5 yr old DD who is very bubbly and the life and soul of the party. Recently she's become very shy with other children (even those she's known all her life) and won't really play with them unless it's in a one on one session. Then she can be okay. If there's two or more of them she just wants to sit with the adults.
It does show signs of getting worse. Crying when another child comes and touches what she was doing. At the childminder she's fine with the children she's with, but when they go to the park she becomes very withdrawn if there's others there.

Now, she's got a 4 month old baby brother, and has just started pre school which I'm sure have something to do with it. At pre school she apparently doesn't really talk to anyone.

Do you reckon she thinks we're trying to replace her?

Is there anything anyone can recommend to bring back the bubbly girl we know and love. I'm sure she'll grow out of it but I just don't want her to be unhappy and feel rejected.

thanks.

anyone?

bump for you!

Will be watching this thread with interest as my ds also 2.5 is going through something very similar - he's become very shy with other children. I've even had to leave our toddler group which he used to enjoy as it was just becoming too stressful for us both! I'm now dreading him starting pre-school. No advice from me but I do undertand how upsetting this can be for you, & you're not alone! I keep blaming myself - if only I'd done this or that he'd be more confident etc etc...

bump

has nobody else been through this? Seriously? The lack of responses is somewhat worrying...

Don't know what the answer is, but have recently noticed that dd (same age as yours) is going through a similar phase. When we go on play dates, all she wants to do is sit on my knee and watch - yet at home she never stops talking.

I think many children cry and get upset when other children come and "touch" their games or toys (I know both mine do), so I would not read too much into this. Likewise, I would not worry yet about her not talking to anyone at pre-school, from friends' experience, it seems that it can take some children quite a lot of time to integrate but they do in the end.

I worry a lot about my children's social skills and found myself trying to push dd into being outgoing. I realised that the reason I was doing this was because of my perception that she was isolated, not hers, she never seems to be bothered.

Not much help, but I think if dd is happy, I would concentrate on making her feel loved and wanted and let her learn how to socialise in her own time.

I've been there. DS was just 3 and also went v. shy even with friends at nursery who he'd known a long time. I mentioned it to staff at nursery who helped him join in other kids games (he couldn't find a way to join in). Also took him to a couple of parties and joined in with him (I was the only mum on the bouncy castle!) and then gradually withdrew once he was playing along. Now 6mnths later much less shy (in fact quite cheeky). I had read somewhere that its a normal growing up stage as they become more self aware. Good luck.