Hello,
My high needs toddler who is two is really getting me down. I feel slightly better today because I've been at work but yesterday my husband and I were in quite a bad place. I know this isn't a diagnosis and it's probably hugely subjective but he's been extremely challenging from the very beginning; loudest baby in the hospital, non-stop feeding, tormented reflux scream non-stop for six months, temper tantrums since forever, constant whining for the next year, food aversion, toothbrush aversion, endless sleep fighting, car seat wrestling, about 7000 public meltdowns/humiliations. Sorry for sounding so dramatic but EVERYTHING is a battle and we are so tired now.
The thing that upsets me most at the moment is not being able to do ordinary things because I know it will end in 5 meltdowns and I can't face it. We spend hours at soft play and hours walking and at the park because that's what he likes to do. I would like him occasionally to come to the shops or meet friends for a meal but that's a no go. That makes me sad. Yesterday we had to bring him along to an appointment which lasted 20 minutes, we bought snacks, drinks, toys and gave him videos to watch and he still caused merry hell.
Is there anyone out there who feels like we do, like they put so much in but their child is basically a nightmare and incredibly draining? I know I sound very negative, I didn't start out like this. My husband is much less emotional about things than I am but yesterday even he was beaten. He said he had totally had enough of him and that he wasn't the ideal child we'd hoped for 😢. I know to others that may sound very cruel and that none of this is his fault but he has really put us through it. We don't understand why our friends have much easier going babies and are thinking about having their second while we are peeling ourselves off the floor. I wish so much he could be easy going but I need to accept that is not going to happen and just get on with it.
Sorry for the long rant and if you think I sound like a total bastard about my child. I love him so much, I just want him to be happy but he never really is. If your child is easy going, happy and gets in the car seat without cage fighting, I imagine it's easy to feel very positive about them. No one really tells you how to deal with the negative feelings you might have about your high needs child x