Sensitive, quieter toddler overwhelmed by loud playgroups and classes

[boo64]

Hi

My ds 20 months is quite sensitive and gets overwhelmed by busy playgroups and classes.

He is confident with adults but seems to find big groups of kids quite scary. He likes to try and escape somewhere quieter like a corridor or hallway.

He will enjoy moderately busy stuff like Monkey Music and soft play if it isn't too full of kids but nothing too boisterous. He will run around at home and giggle so there's nothing wrong with him but he is defintely less boisterous than your average little boy (great in some ways!) With the busier situations like birthday parties he will try and cling to me and only if there is something that grabs his attention join in. By the way he is no angel as has a go at pinching or hair pulling these days if another toddler p's him off. I think he finds it hard to deal with his own bewilderment at busy situations with loads of kids and it is manifesting itself with bad behaviour. Time out totally doesn't work as he'd love to escape to the corner/ corridor!

So the question to any of you with more sensitive toddlers (Kamikaze are you there - your advice has been fab!) - do you keep on going to busy groups in the hope 'they will get used to it' or just accept them as they are and stick to the quieter stuff for now?

Also, do quiet toddlers become quiet children or can they change?

I have the HSC book by the way but haven't had chance to read it all!

Boo, my dd1 went through a phase of hating big groups (and noisy/boisterous toddlers) for months when she was about 20 months old. Some of it was after she got whacked by a little boy (who came up smiling then slapped her hard in the face, so don't blame her!) but some of it was just her, I think.

I had the same dilemma as you, and on advice and instinct I decided to respect her preferences, and help her feel supported rather than challenged at this age. I didn't make a fuss about it, or agree with her that boys/groups were scary/horrid of course, but just said things like 'oh I see, you're a bit scared of those children' or whatever and avoided classes she clearly didn't like.

She's now 3.2 and can hold her own in most situations, can be loud and bossy with the best of 'em , and is not scared of other kids. And has not problem with noisy soft play places, though she gets tired/overwhelmed faster than some. BUT she still prefers small groups or 1-1 playdates to big groups - fair enough, so do I

HTH. Your ds sounds lovely

Hmm well today two slightly older kids came round and were quite boisterous and ds was not at all peturbed by it. So it is toddlers he has an issue with - if they come and play with his toys he hates it so why is it ok for a 5 year old to? Maybe he feels safer as they are older and not a threat?

Anyone else have that and have an explanation?