getting a 3/4 year old dressed

[puppydavies]

why is this always such a flipping trauma? it's not about ability but motivation. she is totally capable of doing most of it on her own, and when i was a bawling mess yesterday (unrelated) she proved to me that she can actually do the whole lot including tights when she wants to.

so whyyyyyyyy is it always a flash point for us? she just doesn't want to do it and no matter how creative i try to be it's almost impossible to motivate her. before xmas we resorted to star charts (not my preferred method but it was getting dire) which helped to a degree but she's still reluctant and it's about 1 day in 3 i don't end up resorting to growling or shouting or threats to get her dressed (and this applies equally when we're off to do something exciting not just tescos or school).

is this standard? why? any tips? it's driving me round the bend.

ps i'm happy to help (if she asks nicely and doesn't scream) with the bits she finds tricky, i don't expect her to do it all on her own every time.

Message withdrawn

yes agree the 'need-to-be-babied' stage always coincides with the parents need to 'grow them up' in time for the baby coming!

... and lasts for the next 18 months or so, if DD1 is anything to go by. Or didn't you want to hear that

I made an absolute rule that my lo can't come downstairs and have breakfast until he's dressed. I'm not at all stern about it, just v.matter of fact. + we also do the "I'd bet you can't..." game. Then if he starts messing around/ refusing to get dressed, I just calmly go off and do something else and tell him to call me when he's ready. Works every time, though admittedly I have to allow about half an hour for him to get to a point where he's ready, but the battles have ceased, and I get loads done while he's happy playing upstairs.

thanks for all suggestions. last couple of days have been varied as per our previous experience but i know i have to wait and see how a regular getting dressed time will affect things.

i think the overall view is that no matter what i have to expect to be more involved in the process. i think those suggesting it's an attention thing may well be right - the problem comes because i want her to do it on her own and she really doesn't want to do it on her own, even though she can. i'm not going to get into the 'you're a big/grown up girl" kind of emotional blackmail so if she doesn't want to prove it to me or herself then i'm stuck helping her out for the time being.

cheers