This is long, sorry, lot to get off my chest. I know DS is 3 - I know toddler tantrums are the norm and I really do my best to avert catastrophe and instill discipline. Diversion techniques, and never giving in to tantrums etc etc, all the usual stuff. DS on the whole is a bright, happy, caring little chap and full blown tantrums with reason (no matter how bizarre) I can spot a mile off, but occasionally, we can be playing together quite happily, I'll ask him to do something or suggest we do something together, in the interest of the game, and he'll look at me and just flip. He'll refuse, or ignore me, or worse yet, wallop me. I can take refuse or ignore, after all we're usually only playing and it was only a suggestion, but being walloped I don't tolerate and I put him in another room until I get a sorry. But I feel really bad, why does he suddenly feel the need to lash out? Also just lately all I seem to get is "no". I do my best to be reasonable, I offer choices, but sometimes it gets beyond a joke. It even gets to the point where I say something perfectly normal, like "Mummy dropped the bowl" and he'll say, "no you didn't". If I get cross and say "Mummy's a bit cross" - "No you aren't" - or "It's time for bath now" (jolly fashion!) - "no it isn't" - "come along now let's see who can get upstairs first", "no" - etc, etc, until finally I lost all semblance of jolly mummyhood and say "Joe I don't want to have this argument anymore" - to which I get "I'm not arguing". It is the most frustrating thing in the world. And frankly when he digs his heels in when I'm out, I'm stuffed, he's a big lad and gone are the days when I could put him under my arm and just walk away from the situation. Feel like a terrible mother - glad to get it off my chest. Any advice on defiance for the sake of it??