He could've killed her...

[TheManicMummy]

My 2 year old has non stop screamed and had tantrums for a week. Screaming, hitting, kicking, grabbing my face. He cries at the moment for around 4 hours every day like this. His aggression is usually towards his 1 year old sister and me.

Yesterday I was cuddling him on the sofa - my best efforts to keep him contained while he was screaming - my daughter went to stand up on the sofa and he pushed her off. She flipped over and landed on her head, she was trying desperately to breathe when I picked her up, but couldn't - her lips went blue and she passed out. When she woke after around 10 seconds (already on the phone to 999 by this point) she could scarcely cry and was very limp.

Luckily she was absolutely fine - but he could've killed her. I can't stop thinking about what's happened and I'm at a total loss of what to do with him now. He seemed oblivious yesterday to the ambulance men being here, just trashed the house - while I was distracted.

He's only like this at home - his nursery teachers seem to look at me like I'm a lunatic, as he's so angelic in front of others - I've taken him to be assessed and they say there's nothing wrong with him. They're seeing a completely different side to his behaviour and I've reached my wits end with it now - does anyone have any advice on how to deal with an angry destructive toddler?

LivininaBox Sun 12-Mar-17 21:42:31
"I think you need to stop blaming your 2 year old for this accident. Even if he wasnt tantruming, he could easily have knocked her off by accident or she could have fallen off by herself. "

This with knobs on. The tantrumming and the fact that your dd was in a precarious position where it might have caused a serious accident are two entirely separate issues and must be treated as such. The fall could just as well have happened through him giving her a friendly pat or knocking into her by accident. It was the fact that she was stood on the sofa that made it dangerous. That was not his fault.

For the record, my dd fell head first onto the pavement at 1 month old because I had failed to fix her carrycot properly onto the chassis. I was lucky and her pompom broke the fall. If it hadn't- well, that wouldn't suddenly have turned me into an awful parent, or at least not into a more awful parent.

Also, when dd was 3 and ds was newborn, I had to shut him in his room when I went to the loo as I could not trust her not to hurt him accidentally-on-purpose. She did throw things at his head once or twice, and once grabbed one of his arms as I was feeding him and pulled. Nothing bad happened- but it easily could have done.

She did not hate him, she was just overwhelmed. Plenty of times with the two of them together but the attention focused on her helped to calm things down.

By the time she was 5, they were best friends: I would come into their bedroom at night and find that he had crept into her bed for comfort. They were still very, very close as teenagers.

Those early tough times didn't mean anything bad.