trouble with playdate

[agnes158]

I'm having issues with a child my 2 yo plays with. They are both the same age so I totally understand the difficulties of having a toddler but her behaviour is so bad i've got to the point that I don't want them to have play dates anymore. Today when we went over she hit my lo repeatedly and although his mum 'told him off' it was so meek that she paid no attention. She also bit my lo and threw things at me. I know they are at a tricky age but it seemed a bit more naughty than normal 2yo behaviour? I don't want to claim as being a perfect parent at all but I could see why she was behaving that way as the mother never really told her off and kept making excuses for her behaviour like it's her age, she has no siblings so doesn't know how to play nice and there's no point disciplining a child under 4 as they don't understand (??!). So i just want to see wwyd? I want to stop them playing together but we don't know many people in the area and the mother is a really nice person so i'd feel really bad about it. If we do have another play date should i start telling the child off? at the moment i stand back a bit as i think it should be the mothers place to tell their child off, but that's obviously not happening. help!

anyone?

Meet in the park or at nap time.

I would speak to her, or maybe go somewhere with an activity.

That's maddening that the mother doesn't believe in telling her child off until she is four. Otherwise biting and hitting are reasonably normal for the age.

It's always a good idea to widen your social circle. Is there a baby gym group or Mums and babies playgroup? Or even just story time at the local library?

Meanwhile, my rule is that I leave it to other parents to discipline unless they are damaging my house

Or

They are hurting my kids.

In those cases the parents get one minute to do something about it and then I step it.

If they are hitting my DC I'd physically remove my child to another part of the room and say "Jenny hitting isn't kind" or whatever in a low very firm voice.

If she was throwing toys at me I'd stand up and move or remove the toys. Failing that I'd leave.

Sadly given what you've said about the Mothers parenting views it's only going to get worse.

If she hasn't established discipline by 4 yo the child is going to have a very hard time at school and not many people are going to be arranging play dates.

My dd followed a rule of not saying no, but distracting until my dgd was two. That worked really well, but not teaching them the difference between right and wrong until four is just all kinds of wrong.

yeah i know :/ it's a bit odd that she thinks she won't respond to any sort of discipline until she's 4. ho hum. yes, i think i'll have to remove my lo next time- only trouble is i don't want my dd thinking she's done anything wrong and getting confused as to why im stopping her play. tricky.