Appropriate bed time for two year old

[Shaunacm]

Hi,
I'm new to this and not being a parent myself, was hoping for some advice from mums. I just bought a semi-detached new build home and am experiencing terrible neighbour noise. Clearly, i've discovered new builds aren't soundproofed well and as a result i can hear every single noise from the neighbours child. I am woken in the middle of the night, 2am, 4.30am, 6am by the child screaming, i get ready for work to the sound of the child screaming anywhere between 7am-9am, i come home to the child screaming, it's never ending. The child turned two in November 2016 and I am just wondering at what age does a child establish a sleeping pattern and does not enough sleep contribute to a child's behaviour? What time does a two year old child usually go to bed at? I moved in to the house in November and the average time the child goes to bed is 8.30pm/9pm. Sometimes, however, it can be 10pm and even recently as 11pm. The parents usually work the child up as opposed to calming it down before bed, around half an hour before bed, we hear both the child and parents shouting, squealing, running around, kicking balls etc. I'm really sorry if i sound stupid, but as i'm not a parent, i genuinely don't know if this is normal behaviour. Unfortunately, i hear everything and i am thinking about selling next year as the noise is unbearable. I have to wear earplugs at night to stop the child wakening me through the night and first thing at weekends. Is this a case of 'terrible twos?' Will the child settle? Are the bedtimes i described above too late for a two year old? Any advice/help would be greatly appreciated, thank you.

Maybe play loud music until they come over to complain? You can suggest a peace treaty for real??

@batteriesallgone it isn't actually a development. They built two new houses on an already established residential area in quite a good part of town so i'm hoping when it comes to selling it won't be two much of a loss.
Yes i did think i'm going to have to concoct some sort of story when selling. I really would like to stick it out until at the very least this coming christmas so that would be a year and then whatever it takes to sell!
Thanks so much for all your advice, really does help speaking to someone clear and frank about this

@motherofpearl I have considered this option - it's just would it work? Would it be a reduction in noise as opposed to totally eliminating it or would the level of the reduced noise still annoy me - this little boy is very shrill! But it is definitely an option at the minute! Thanks for getting in touch, it's nice to hear from mums because i didn't know if i was being unreasonable at thinking it was a little loud.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017
I am very tempted but really would just prefer peace and quiet. Would like to avoid a neighbours at war situation but if it means cranking up the tv to drown out the noise, im going to have to. It's through the night though when i need to sleep for work.

@Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 if only their child had a mute button!

Ah well you might find you make money on it then.

Soundproofing is expensive and a long term option - you'll either have to rip it off and redecorate to sell, or try and explain it to potential buyers who will be put off by the impression you have problems with nuisance noise.

Have you done the basic things of moving your bed away from the dividing wall?

Also very effective and probably cheaper than soundproofing would be to buy some of those IKEA floor to ceiling storage units with the fabric storage blocks. Books and cushions make excellent soundproofing. Some of them you could just stuff with foam if you don't have belongings to fill it all.

Or as another pp suggested, get wardrobes built across the dividing wall. Great soundproofing, doesn't look weird or out of place in a bedroom.

If you don't have room for the bulk of that, hanging a nice thick blanket on the wall could help to some extent.

If you do talk to the neighbours you could ask them to move the bed / cot away from the dividing wall. Hopefully they might have a wardrobe or something they could put against the dividing wall instead. I'm sure they don't appreciate the screaming either and there is little they can do about it. But decent neighbours will hopefully be willing to consider rearranging the room.

@batteriesallgone
The thing about this house, and why i chose it, is that none of the bedrooms share a wall with the adjoining property. There is a hallway and stairs before the adjoining wall and i'm sure it's the same their side.
Which is why it baffles me how i can hear everything so loudly and clearly. I thought when you weren't sharing a wall any noises would be somewhat muffled.
The stairs seem very hollow, i wonder is sound travelling through? Or i fear i have bought a poorly built house with some sort of fault. I chose this house specifically because all living/sleeping areas shared no walls with the neighbours. I just could never have predicted this. It's almost unbelievable.
Yes, if i could get a quote for soundproofing but i do fear it will be expensive, not entirely effective and if it's running into thousands i would rather put it towards another home. And yes the issue of drawing potential problems to buyers!
The way i feel i would be ready to take a hit, cut my losses just to get the house sold. But as you have said it would be better to have stayed in it at least a year.
I may look into the options you have suggested as a temporary diy solution to try and absorb some noise. My home is all wooden floors and tiles which clearly isn't doing much to absorb noise!

Don't soundproof the stairs. It's thick stuff and will compromise your passing distance / ability to get furniture up and down the stairs.

I'm afraid that sounds typical for a shoddy new build to me OP, I've had similar - being able to hear everyday noises from neighbours all the time.

That's new builds for you, I'm afraid. My grandmother lives in a newish semi and she can hear her neighbours snoring and going to the loo. I'm in a 60s semi, the only thing we can hear is the lady's phone ringing next door. She has it crazily loud as she is very hard of hearing due to her age.

@jamdonutsrule @koolkoala07 Yes, it seems to be that way. It's crazy that building control or whoever passes these houses thinks it's acceptable. I'm baffled by it and they're not cheap either! Bit of a nightmare but hopefully there's a way out - and that's selling up and getting an older build. Just hope i can stick the year out!

When mine were two they would be asleep by 7pm and would have a 2.5 hour nap each day.

That doesnt aound normal to me.

@neversleepagain i have friends with children and they say the same as you, children in bed by 7pm ish. At 7pm last night the child was screaming the house down (from 5.30pm - 8.30pm). I just think it's a little excessive. Surely 'play time' or 'tantrum time' shouldn't be this long for this loud. Then screaming again at 7am this morning. I don't think it's fair to expect neighbours to listen to this daily.

Ours is in bed for about 7.30 (8 at the latest) and sleeps anywhere from 6 to 7.30

He occasionally wakes up in the night but he just comes into us. The odd occasion he's had a bad dream and will scream and cry

If it was regular I'd worry, it doesn't sound normal to me. I know not every child sleeps through but screaming??

@redandwhite1 I moved into the house in November and this is the way it has been since then. I am beginning to flinch at the sound of the child and just am tense waiting for it. I don't think there is anything wrong as another poster suggested to do with mistreatment. The child seems well fed, well looked after as in clean, dressed nicely - it just seems to be very badly behaved! As i said earlier, instead of 'quiet time' or calming the child down before bed, the parents seem to start 'play time' around 7-7pm - kicking balls, running up and down, shouting, encouraging the child - which is why i was hoping mums could tell me if this was a normal pattern and if not could be leading to what seems to be a very unsettled child.

Sorry, 7-7.30pm *

Well yeah I reckon it could. Our son is definitely harder to get to sleep if he's been super active beforehand but it surprises me their parents don't realise this!!

@redandwhite1 It surprises me too. I've only lived there for five months and i already sense there seems to be very little in the way of establishing a routine etc. Obviously children will be children, but surely these parents should show a little consideration for neighbours and maybe settle the child a bit more. Just very hard to live with!

I can imagine.
Im mortified when our little boy screams in the night but at the same time trying to calm him as it's from bad dreams but i panic over if our neighbours can hear and what they are thinking.
Every night is inconsiderate too especially if it's because they aren't putting a routine in place etc

@redandwhite1 Thank you so much for kind of assuring me that it is a little excessive. I don't want people thinking i'm complaining for the sake of complaining or i'm being inconsiderate to mums!
I wouldn't mind if it was occasional, if the child was sick or a birthday party etc, but when you're not getting a break from it at all you get a little ill-tempered and i'm at the point i almost feel like banging the walls or stairs and screaming back!
The lack of soundproofing isn't helping as well. The

Hmm, we had a lovely calming bedtime routine from 8 weeks and our son was still waking 4-6 times a night well up until nearly 2.5 (happily we're now in a detached house!). Some kids are rubbish sleepers and defy efforts to change that. While being very active immediately before bedtime isn't great, active play followed by sone calm time and then bed definitely helps to get a child into that magic tired but calm state. So it may not be anything to do with something the parents are doing wrong. It does sound rubbish for you and I suspect the poor sound insulation would be a problem regardless of who lived next door so I think it's a case of soundproof or move.

@jessplussomeonenew Yes, as @batteriesallgone said, if it wasn't the child, it would be loud music, instruments, dogs - any number of things. I think the only solution is to move, as i am somewhat sceptical as to how effective costly soundproofing would be! And there's no chance of the neighbours splitting the cost. It's just finding a way to cope until i can get the house up and sold. I really hope as the child gets to 3 it starts to calm down a bit and i really hope to be out before they decide to have another one! Perhaps i'm just going to have to crank my TV up to try to drown the noise out. I actually had a shower on Monday night when the noise was at its worst and i could still hear the child over the bathroom fan and the water running. Trying to shower, trying to sleep, just simply trying to relax in my own home is offset by continuous crying, screaming, wailing, banging.

If I was to turn my TV up when the child is screaming at its loudest, would this then in turn annoy you as a parent?
I don't want to start any tit for tat but i am at my wit's end!

You have to start making a bit of noise so that they realise how sound proof less the houses are. I didn't realise how much my neighbors could hear until they had family over. Turns out ours houses aren't amazingly soundproofed, the neighboours are just amazingly quiet. I now make more of an effort to keep my voice down!

@joinourclub I am thinking the same. I am very quiet and am out all day so maybe they genuinely don't know. Maybe if i banged about a bit they would realise. Just don't want it to escalate into a neighbours at war situation.