toddler behaviour

[sazman]

Does anyone have any advice?! I've joined mumsnet this evening as my H and I are at the end of our tether with our 2 year old DS. He is very well behaved at nursery and for others, but not for us! He is going through a stage of hitting us if he can't get his own way and often refuses to do as we ask. We have tried explaining that mummy and daddy don't hit so he shouldn't hit either but it doesn't have much effect.. neither does it when we show how upset we are when he hits!He normally refuses to say sorry, but even when he does, he doesn't look like he means it!...Any advice anyone?

We had a similar problem with our dd at about 2.5, I just stated that until she behaved nicely & kindly towards us mummy was not going to listen to her. And I just ignored her and blanked her - the opposite of the attention she wanted. Even now at 3.11 she absolutely hates being ignored and I still use it to diffuse a situation !!!

Thank you Onefootinthegravy...I will try that strategy tomorrow!

Another thing I invented was a magic wand which I used to wave and that made her invisible to me while whe was being naughty! Hence I didnt speak to her or look at her, that also worked and then she would only reappear when she was being a nice girl again.
Unfortunately that part doent work anymore as she goes and looks in the mirror now and says' I'm not invisible'

not very original but we use a naughty corner for ds 23mths. works best when i don't shout and am very calm. he doesn't really bother- will go there quite happily and wait the 2 minutes, then apologises but at least he stops doing what he was doing.
I heard somewhere that showing them how they have hurt you/made you upset doesn't really work- just confuses them or gives incentive to try it again!

I had bother with my daughter biting us. She normally did it when she was very excited and it wasn't done to be 'naughty' but it really hurt. All i did was instantly put her down/ignore her and if the other one was in the room they would come over and say 'oh poor Mummy'. This worked really quickly but she was only 18 months or so.

Now she is 2 she is more bother though. We have a 'thinking step' where she has to go and it works really well. She hates it and gets off and moans and cries but we keep putting her back and she stops. I generally find the best thing is to ignore her and only use the step if she is being really dreadful.