I don't know where to start, not sure if this is a rant, or looking for sympathy or advice. Would really love advice!
So my little darling is a handful. She is a 'spirited' child. From the second she wakes up she is screaming demands at me 'brekky, toast, more toast, juice, water, tissue' and shouts it at me until i bring it, even thought I tell her its coming its on the way etc. This is just an example of her requests, when she wants something she wants it immediately & repeats shouting it at me until I get it.
She is extremely attached to me, if I leave the room just to grab something she has to follow, wherever I am she is like glue to my legs, if I sit down she wants to climb all over me. She doesn't really play by herself, or find games or things to do, I have lots of toys but the only thing she likes to do is throw them, break them. But really she wants all the stuff she can't have, she want to play with the plugs, the oven, my bag, open my drawers & fire things out, pulling things apart etc.
She will not eat. Apart from breakfast and snacks! Anything I make for lunch or dinner goes untouched, and then in the bin and this is driving me insane. The cost and the work gone into trying to prepare nice meals & she wont eat it, then half an hour later is crying for food, she wants a biscuit or chocolate or something crap. I will offer yoghurt, rice cake fruit, which I open, and again she doesn't eat. I dont even want to be bothered cooking anymore because she wont eat it. And then I don't get to eat, because she is finished hers in 5 seconds, and wants to come & climb all over me.
Now the biggest issue I have is when we go out. Im struggling to understand this behavior & how I can help to change this. She is aggressive. She has massively improved, anywhere we went she would just go up & hit children & scratch them across the face, out of nowhere. A child could be walking by and she'd lash out at them. I got so sick of having to sit so close & apologise to parents we stopped going anywhere for a while. She doesn't do this anymore, yet she is still aggressive. We were in the playground & she went & pushed a little boy off the swing because she wanted it (I had my eye off her for a second). If she had been playing on the slide & someone else goes to have a turn, she will start screaming 'my slide' & run over & try to pull them off or scream at them. She will deliberately get in peoples way, when shes does this I think she is trying to interact but doesn't know how. If someone has a toy she screams that its hers. If she is holding a toy, she will scream at them that its her toy. She is not nice when we are out & not pleasant. I see other children just happily playing & they just stop in their tracks when she shouts at them. I am always on her heels, supervising & ready to run if she goes to hit..... she is not like this around her cousins who she loves playing with... Where does this come from? Is she intimidated, overwhelmed, or just a little sh*t.... its exhausting & trips out aren't fun.
I can't go to the shops, she wont stay in her pram, and if i let her walk, she runs off & pulls everything off the shelves & when I go to stop her she kicks and screams.
She was bf till 2, I have been as loving and nuturing to her practicing attachment parenting. She was very ill up until 1.5, and so I responded to her with such urgency and extra devotion & soothing, and I still feel Im responding to her with the same panicked feeling. I give her lots of attention. We have tactile play which she loves, lots of high energy running around, we have quiet play where I try get her interested in a puzzle or read a book, we go out every day, to a playground or playcentre and she has two mornings a week in playschool, I try to be calm fair and responsive, and also try to establish boundaries. I set limits on things which feels like every 5 minutes. Discipline is either going to her room, or telling her she won't have a programme, or a treat, or we will have to leave & when I've nothing to bargain with, I tell her im not talking to her because of xyz (usually when we are out).
I am a single parent, father not involved at all. I am struggling with depression right now & I really don't know which way is up.
There are a million wonderful and amazing things about her, but lately it just feels like a damn hard slog & I feel im failing..
I didn't mean to write so much, but if any wise words could be sent my way I would be grateful.