We are really struggling with 6 year old ds behaviour at the moment.
He is a very bright intelligent little boy, who is doing well at school, is quiet, listens & is well behaved in class and his teachers have no concerns about whatsoever.
At home he is generally a happy lively little boy, but for quite some time now and especially at the moment, he is constantly whining, moaning, answering back, being unkind to his sister and lashing out (throwing things/hitting himself on his arms/head) if things aren't going his way. He shouts ALL the time (i dont necessarily mean in an agressive way but more he talks/chatters constantly but at shouting volume), he constantly interrupts/talks over us when we are speaking, he makes lots of silly (almost baby like) noises/squeaks/shouts, he is constantly running around jumping & bouncing on & off chairs & spinning round. He doesnt seem to listen to anything we say - e.g. we could tell him 20 times a day to stop jumping on the chairs yet he still carries on. We try to talk calmly about his behaviour but it doesnt change & it inevitably ends in one of us shouting at him & him going for time out on the naughty step or having toys etc removed.
It feels like we have fallen into a horrible cycle of negative behaviour, shouting & punishment & we're really struggling to change things.
We feel this may all be his way of crying out for attention - possibly down to sibling rivalry as his sister grows older & wants to join in with what he is doing more. We know he is really struggling to cope with sharing with her & realise this is difficult for him after 4 years as an only child - so we are making time for him to have 1:1 with us without her present but need some more strategies as that doesnt sem to be enough on its own.
We are struggling to agree on the best course of action - I think we need to praise positive behaviour more rather than focusing on the negative behaviour but while DH agrees this is a good idea in principle he thinks we shouldnt ignore the bad behaviour e.g. ds throwing things when we have to leave the park as 'we are then not telling DS what is not acceptable & we should tell him off when he does something wrong'. So some guidance there would be appreciated on where you draw the line.
I wondered about a reward chart but we can't agree on how to reward his beaviour. DH thinks we should award stickers whenever we think he has been good but I think that's too generic - after all what does 'good' actually mean? I think we should set out exactly & specifically what behaviour is expected eg playing nicely/sharing with dd' or 'leaving the park without having a tantrum' but DH argues that if he does something positive outside of this specific list - then he won't be rewarded as its not on the list therefore the only way to do it is to reward for 'general good behaviour' whenever we see it.
I'm feeling a bit lost so would really appreciate some help or guidance on what has worked for your child.
Sorry its so long!!