9 year old dd doesn't have many friends

[newstartamiready]

So my dd is an only child, as a result she isn't great at sharing. At school she has one friend she always like to play with (the friend is very compliant with my dd's game ideas etc). When the friend was off school for a week my dd spent some playtimes alone.

The thing is she has other children she is friendly with but chooses not to play with them as she doesn't like their games there are also a few children she clashes with and she comes out of school moaning about them a lot.

What can I do to help her make friends? I'll be honest I wasn't very much into "play dates" so havnt done that too often. Also I don't socialise with any mums at the school and think if I did that would have helped her to make friends more.

How can I help her now? She spoke to me tonight and said as she will be going to secondary school soon she is worried she doesn't have many friends. Bless her

My two DD's are similar- one or two close friends with whom they interact and others are surplus to requirement.

I don't see it as a bad thing-just one friend may be an issue in the teen years if they fall out or boyfriends get in the way but choosing to avoid people you don't like is just sensible as far as I'm concerned

Having taken the lead from my children on their friends and talked to their friends Mums rather than the other way around I don't see that you can actually do very much at all beyond gently encouraging her to expand her social calendar with new interests and hence new faces.

Well, sounds like you have the reasons right there!

Encourage her to play with others, even if she may not like their games all the time. Say that everyone has the right to choose games and people all like different things. Encourage her to rthe turns to choose games to okay.

I'd also be more proactive re play dates and meeting friends outside school yo help get make more friends and build better bonds with current friends.

I'd talk about being a friend to make more friends, and do role play games with her to help her realise how other people feel when she tries to take over/other people don't want to do what she wants!