gingerbear, she does actually get lots of one-to-one, we deliberately make opportunities for it, but I am sure you are right and that she is looking for more attention in this way, especially when she is tired. I also think she has to learn that there has to come a time when other things need to be done. Mostly she is fab with ds and very loving, affectionate and helpful.
But my concern with the time out thing is that it doesn't work because she seems to enjoy it or sees it as a huge joke. i don't know whether to be more stern and cross with her. as i say I found msyelf shouting at dd more and more, to the point where I thought ds was getting frightened, so i tried to stop. What do you do when the child doesn't 'get' the point of time out???