Letting 5 week old "cry it out" during daytime

[Pandora88]

I feel like a horrible mother for doing this, my little DS is absolutely adorable and not too bad overall but he does have those days and nights (usually come in a row) when he's a baby from hell. He'd cry and cry completely inconsolable for hours. Naps? Forget it? He'd do 10 mins to half an hour max. Proper feeding? No way, he nurses for 5 mins every hour or so. Rest of the time he'd be screaming, moaning, breathing quickly.

I feed him, change his nappy, give him infacol, give him a belly massage for gas, we have ruled out any health problems (blood tests at hospital and checked twice by peds ) I normally hold him in my arms and carry him around but when even that fails (he'd shout right into my ear) I just don't know what to do, so put him in his cot/bouncer and let him cry for a bit.

I would then step away to do some simple things like even brush my teeth (no time for it with him constantly unhappy!)

So he would be laying there crying for 5-10 minutes depending how long it takes me to get sorted. I feel terrible for doing this and I found that I'm actually no longer even rushing myself because I'm becoming resentful of him (and a bit of a failure as a mom - surely to be in mummy's arms should offer some consolation )

I am just curious if any of you had a similar experience, I so hope this is not too traumatising for him but I just feel so hopeless! I never do this at night as am generally opposed to "cry it out" sleep training but with him going day and night during these "bad days" I literally can't even brush my hair!

Thank you for your sympathies and not being horrible about it, but the same time giving your honest opinions.

Someone said that perhaps holding him when he is crying will give him reassurance that someone is there for him, even if not soothing the crying immediately. That is a good point!

Also I agree I possibly gave the post a not entirely accurate title - he usually does not "cry it out" in 5-10 mins (I think I've done this three time by now including today) - however today he did go completely quiet after 10 mins and has been much more peaceful since, hence "cried it out" (?) Also because of that it made me feel really bad (as if my DS gave up and lost hope.)

As to his eating - trust me that is something I have been suspecting for a long while! Yet he is gaining weight beautifully (on par with bottle fed babies same age and perfectly on his centile curve since birth.)

I just tried the sling again (he seem to have calmed down a bit so allowed me to put him in) so far so good.

Everyone has been so kind thank you

Far far too young to intentionally set out to have him 'cry it out' for great lengths of time.

However, taking a few minutes hands free to brush your teeth, wash, make yourself a sandwich etc isn't a bad thing and isn't really 'crying it out'.

You can't physically hold him 27/7 and never eat or use the loo etc.

Is he breastfed OP? Have you had him checked for tongue tie by a qualified practitioner (breastfeeding councillor/la leche league advisor - not your GP as they usually haven't got the faintest idea!)

My DD was exactly the same, tiny quick feeds and turned out she just wasn't able to get enough milk at each feed and was permanently hungry. Tongue tie snipped at five weeks and she was a different child.

I'm not saying that may be the case with you DS, but maybe something worth condidering.

Also second the the suggestion for a stretchy sling/wrap, they feel much snuggling and more supportive for babies than more structured ones such as the baby bjorn. Mine was an absolute godsend and bar feeding/changing I pretty much wore DD constantly at one point. Saved my sanity as she went to sleep on me which she wouldn't do in her Moses basket as she screamed when I put her down.

Also worth googling 'the fourth trimester' - suddenly it makes a lot more sense about why newborn/tiny babies are the way they are, and why they hate being away from mum.

Loud classical music used to buy me a few moments from hideous refluxy dd

Have you ruled out silent reflux or a tongue tie as feeding is so short?
Does he take a dummy?
I used to have soothing music in the background and hold my son in a kangaroo hold and walk/bounce around the house. It is absolutely terrible though, so you have my sympathy. Some babies are just more high needs. Google purple crying, it helps explain in a bit.

The sling was a life saver for me, also not letting the crying escalate (not always possible I realise) but if I could nip it in the bud and feed her before she got too upset, it was so much easier than trying to calm her once she was hysterical. Have you tried skin to skin time? That can be very soothing for a young baby (if you can whack the heating up!). Hope it gets better soon

Hope you're ok OP. Been thinking of you. Hope you've found some tricks to make it easier

My 5 week old nursed every 5 mins or so virtually on the hour every hour. In fact there were times when he constantly nursed. Babies that age have very small stomachs and they can't consume big quantities of milk. Coupled with that your baby might have wind/reflux which is causing them distress. Speak to the HV.

Yes it's very demanding to feed your baby so often but unfortunately babies don't have the same eating routines that older children and adults do - that's just the way it is.

I think it might be better to be a bit more flexible in your approach. I don't think it's remotely appropriate to let a 5 week old cry. At that age they're crying because they need something.

I think 10 minutes is too long. A couple of minutes to brush your teeth is just necessity and I don't blame you at all.

You're not a failure. If you didn't give a shit why would you be asking? You obviously care about your baby and want to do what's best for them.