Anxiety in a reception age child

[Holdbacktheriver]

Dd is 4 and in reception. She attended the school nursery for 2 years prior to starting so knows all the staff well. She has however never settled and is incredibly anxious throughout the day. She doesn't eat all day because her tummy "feels funny" and has the runs every night when she gets home. I'm confident it's a nervous tummy as this doesn't happen at the weekends or during school holidays.

Her home life is fairly settled, no big disruptions such as new sibling or house move. I'm confident there is nothing going on at school as I have 3 other children there, who are doing well and are very happy.

She frequently wakes at night as she needs to know we are there and will need a cuddle to go back to sleep.

I'm starting to get a little concerned as she really does get quite distressed. She is absolutely distraught when I drop her off and can take a good hour to stop crying. I've never experienced this level of anxiety in a child so young before. Does anyone have any ideas on how I can help her?

DD has anxiety and so did I at the same age though it was never diagnosed at the time nor did I understand what was happening. One thing I have noticed is confidence holds a big part. Or rather lack off. Have you spoken to the school? What did they say? Does your DD interact with other kids? Any sign of bullying?

Once they've eventually settled her she's apparently lovely to have. She plays very well with the other children and is always looking for ways to help. There are no signs of bullying, she often has several children excited to see her but she's so distraught that she doesn't even realise they are there I don't think. She has two or three best friends who we meet up with regularly for play dates. She enjoys these as she knows I'm there.

I've spoken to her teacher briefly and they have just said she's very anxious and needs lots of cuddles and reassurance. I'm just concerned that she doesn't seem to be able to settle at all. She loves her teachers but will ask several times a day to go home. She just doesn't seem to be able to separate from me.

DD had trouble settling but after a while she started saying she missed me a lot at home and school. Does she ever get anxious in crowded places? I was thinking maybe it as a social anxiety.

Is she a summer baby?

I don't have any answers really, my DS can be quite bad but has improved slightly this term. What has the school suggested? Does she respond to reward charts etc?

I suppose she does get anxious with crowds as she will squeeze my hand and go very quiet. She really struggles to talk to anyone outside of her trusted adults, though is fine with unfamiliar children.

She is a May Birthday but I have another who is July so I was prepared for her to take longer to settle, but she didn't settle in the two years in the nursery and is struggling still in reception.

We have tried unsuccessfully to implement reward charts. She loves stickers so school will let her pick a sticker as soon as she starts to calm down. They're very patient with her but I am also concerned about the impact this is having on the other children. She must be taking up a fair chunk of their time.