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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

how can i get baby to go down to sleep

15 replies

kbaby · 18/06/2004 18:07

hi,
ive got a 3 week old baby who wont sleep unless being cuddled. at night shes fine but during the day she falls asleep so i lay her down and then within 10 mins shes woken and wont stop crying until shes picked up. i dont know how i can correct this. she certainly wont go to sleep if i lay her in her cot when shes dozy but i know thats what should be happening. does anyone have any experience of this. my arms are getting tired of holding or carrying her everywhere, plus im unable to cook dinner etc as she refuses to go in a sling.

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Piffleoffagus · 18/06/2004 18:33

the only way I got round this was to let dd tummy sleep, from there on she was fine, but due to the sids etc and HV's going nuts, plus reasonable caution it pays to keep very close eye on them etc...
Some people will now ofically flay me for advising this... I'm advising (!!!) simply saying what worked for us..

Clayhead · 18/06/2004 18:39

No flaying from me Piffle, worked for us too. Bad news about the sling though. WHat about in a pushchair? Does the movement get her to sleep?

GeorginaA · 18/06/2004 19:53

kbaby... might not work yet but the last week or so has seen ds very susceptible to white noise (he wasn't previously .. don't know whether age or cranial osteopathy has helped that).

So, dummy and white noise of some sort until his eyes go droopy, remove the dummy but let the white noise continue. Sometimes have to rinse repeat several times until he finally drops off. Sometimes doesn't work at all, but hey, there's no such thing as a miracle cure

GeorginaA · 18/06/2004 19:53

(meant to say ... ds2 is 5 weeks old)

shrub · 18/06/2004 20:02

kbaby - what type of sling have you got? the reason i ask is the sling is usually the answer. have you got use to putting the sling on? if they are a bid fiddly and your also trying to put a fractious babe in them it might feel its not working. there is a sling called a babytrekker which you can use from newborn up to 5 years and wear front and back so cooking etc. is no problem. if you think your dd has been curled up inside for 9 months listening to your heartbeat and soothed by you moving about. i'm off to try and find some links for you also have you tried muslin cloth/teddy down your bra? it sometimes helps if they have your scent.

Hayls · 18/06/2004 20:04

kbaby, my dd was very similar to this, even during the night. I can't remember when but she gradually stopped- like Georgina I suspect it had a lot to do with her having cranial ostepathy. Even now it's quite difficult getting her down, she usually needs at least a lot of cudddles- 4 months now- but once she's down she NORMALLY stays down. make the most of it and enjoy the extra cuddles you get (although I know how frustrating it can be when there's so much else you can be doing)

You could ry rocking her in her pram until she falls asleep then if she does start to stir you can just start rocking her again. I know it's not a long term solution but it might help you get through this phase.
HTH. Take care

strangerthanfiction · 18/06/2004 20:06

kbaby, there's a couple of threads on the same subject on the 'sleep' board, why not check them out?

With my dd I just let her sleep on me and did other stuff when she was awake, lying on a cushion or propped in her bouncy chair where she could see me and I could talk to her. It all changed a lot by the time she was 3 months. Your dd is still so young don't expect too much of her just yet, in her little mind she's still attached to your body.

shrub · 18/06/2004 20:14

continuum concept or bigmama slings or babytrekker sling hope it helps x

oneofeach · 18/06/2004 20:21

Dear Kbaby, my DD (now 7 months) was like this at first. I let her sleep on me during the day when her older brother was having a nap and when she was a bit older I used to put her in her pram and rock her. I tried a dummy but it kept falling out. By the time she was about 3 to 4 months she had learned to fall asleep by herself in her cot for daytime sleeps and night time. It was difficult to start with and I did let her cry for a bit while she settled but it has been worth it. Now she will sleep whenever she needs to, if I'm at a friends house I put her in their cot and she's fine. But I waited until she was at least 12 weeks to try this.

So don't worry too much about 'bad' habits now affecting how they sleep in the future. I'm sure she is far too young to realise that she needs to sleep and will be relying on you to comfort her into it. Best of luck. If she's fine during the night then you're doing better than most of us at that stage!

marsup · 18/06/2004 21:44

Kbaby, my ds was like this until he was 4 months old and I really feel for you. Don't know that I have anything intelligent to suggest: at first he didn't know how/want to sleep alone day or night and then bit by bit he worked out that it was really quite a good thing to do. It was hell. We used to eat dinner with him on someone's lap; once a piece of lettuce fell on his face, etc... you can imagine the tragi-comic scenes. Eventually he refused to sleep on our laps OR in his basket and would only sleep if someone was holding him standing up and walking; at that point we tried more radical things like leaving him crying in his basket and I can't really say what worked because it was a complete mess (as was I) but we have all survived and now he sleeps! Good luck!

Tigerlillies · 18/06/2004 22:07

I agree with Shrub the sling is the answer, here are a few other sites that can help.
link{http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sling.html/kelly mum

Tigerlillies · 18/06/2004 22:09

Ooops!

kellymom

babywearer

Original poster

kbaby · 19/06/2004 12:03

Thanks. The sling I bought was a mothercare sling that goes on your front. She just screamed as soon as I put her in there. I dont know if it was because it was too high up and so she couldnt see anything. One of the links that Shrub provided lets you hire some slings so im going to give a pouch one a try. She might like being cuddled rather that being sat up against me like the mothercare sling. I love holding her and looking at her little face but it is so demanding having to do it all day. Although yesterday we had 2 achievements. 1) I changed her and went to put a t shirt on myself, to do this I just layed her in her cot while I went to my bedroom and put her mobile on and by the time I came back she was fast asleep((horay)) not quite sure how it happened though. 2) she was sleepy last night and it was 11pm so we went to bed and I laid her in her moses basket expecting to get back up to comfort her and she moaned for 5 minutes and then fell asleep all by herself. This hasnt worked today though and we're back to the holding again. She just jusnt seem content on her own. The longest she will stay in a rocking chair awake is only 5 mins before she gets grizzly which means you havent been able to get anything done in 5 minutes. Ive tried just going to her and comforting her instead of picking her up but that doesnt work. Maybe ill give the pram a try as she sleeps quite well when were out in it.

OP posts:

Piffleoffagus · 19/06/2004 12:08

Also under her cot sheet we put a lambskin... very soft really cosy for them and soft to lay in...
I buy one for all my friends with new babies!

californiagirl · 19/06/2004 22:17

My DD, who is a real sling baby, still screams occasionally when you put her in the sling. It's not because she doesn't like it overall; once she settles down, she's thrilled. I was terrified and sure she hated it originally, but DH carried her around in it when she was inconsolable anyway and he had nothing left to lose, and discovered it's just a passing thing.

And if she's genuinely opposed to the sling, there are other options. I use an asian baby carrier, also known as a mei tai, which can carry her facing in or out, back or front (I've only done front so far).

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