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3yo hates praise?

2 replies

MyEternalSunshine · 14/12/2016 21:09

If my DS does something that would generally receive praise for (eg done something well) and recieves praise for it (eg Oh wow! Well done! Clever boy!) he will get really mad about it- he'll scream 'No!! Not well done!! I'm not clever!' And sometimes it's so bad he'll shout those things then run off crying.. We've gotten around this by not directly praising him but praising the act (or picture or whatever it is) and asking who's responsible for it so then he can claim the praise if he choses to (eg 'Wow what a beautiful picture I wonder who drew it?' Then he'll tend to claim it with 'Meeee!! I did it!!') We've been doing this for a while now so I genuinely forgot about it as an issue until he was with some family today who tried to praise him and he went ballistic!

Can anyone relate to this? Why does my poor DS take such offence to praise? It makes me feel sad as I only want him to know how wonderful he is but can't enjoy people showing him they recognise him doing something well..
He was also the only one to flat out refuse to participate in his school nativity (he had a part when some other children didn't get one but when it came to the performance he wouldn't leave his dad and I) even to the extent of not letting his dad and I join in with the songs! Had we of sung along he'd of had a total meltdown.

Can anyone relate? I never force him to do these types of things as they clearly make him feel uncomfortable (he also regularly denies hugs etc from people although not all the time- again I never force him too as its his body and no one should force themselves into someone's personal space let alone a child's) but just want to know if I am dealing with this all correctly? I'd hate to be failing him in some way Sad

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
user1477282676 · 14/12/2016 23:54

He might feel a certain sort of pressure coming from the praise. It's actually not good to praise them for everything they do...I'd stop the praise and just start asking him "Did you enjoy making that?" and if he says yes, you can say "Oh good, I'm glad you enjoyed it and now I have a nice picture to put on the fridge!" and "You look like you're having fun!" when he's drawing or whatever.

He'll know you're happy about his efforts but won't feel it's too much.

MyEternalSunshine · 15/12/2016 08:17

User I really like that idea thank you for responding!

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