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Can anyone offer any advice?

3 replies

Kel1234 · 10/12/2016 10:16

On what is actually wrong with my little man?
He's always been a good baby - happy to play on his own, never been demanding, only really cried when he was hungry, needed changing, was teething, or was really tired. He slept through on his own from when he was 3 months old, and has self settled day and night in the crib and later cot without any sort of comforter since he came home (by no means bragging or showing off, just giving background).
But recently he has been out of sorts. The past few weeks he has been really playing up, especially with sleep. He screams every time he goes in the cot, even though he's clearly tired. He started wanting a blanket, which I tried not to give him as he's never wanted anything like that before. And at night he will wake up screaming at 4-5am and refuse to settle. Nothing we try seems to work for longer than half an hour (we try cuddles, patting, dry nappy, milk, water, putting him in our bed, even taking him for a walk). This screaming goes on for best part of 2-3 hours, then he eventually settles back down. It seems he wants to be in our bed (yes I know we shouldn't put him there, but after 2 hours of near constant screaming, it's the only thing we have left). Last night it was even earlier- half past 3 in the morning. We know it isn't his teeth because I'd it was he would continue crying even when he's been picked up, but as soon as we pick him up he stops, so it's for attention. (When it is his teeth we give gel or medicine to help).
Also during the day he wants constant attention. As soon as I leave the room he screams. Now obviously I can't be in the room every second with him. When I go to the kitchen I close the stair gate and kitchen gate and let him stand at the gate and watch, but even then he still screams. Again it's for attention as the second im back giving him my full attention he's fine.
He was going to the childminders 4 days a week, but due to personal circumstances at the moment, he isn't (I don't want to go into that as its private), but there's no way he can go just now. I think that is the main problem, as he has got worse since he stopped going. I feel so sorry for him as its not his fault he can't go. I try my best to keep him happy, but at the moment I feel like I'm failing.
And the constant screaming, especially at night means we are both so tired, as is Daniel. And my poor dh has a hard job with long shifts, but still refuses to let me deal with him on my own (believe me I've tried suggesting he sleeps in the spare room - even just when he's in all day or on the early shift, so he gets a good nights sleep (well a better one at least) but he refuses. I even said that as he has 2 days off together a week, the nights he's off the next day he can see to him in the night so I can try to sleep, but he won't hear of it).
Sorry for the long post, just really don't know what to do about it all. (And if you got here, thanks for reading).

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MessyBun247 · 10/12/2016 11:44

How old is he? Sounds like it could possible be separation anxiety.

Jennifer8787 · 10/12/2016 17:53

I am by no means an expert but my gut instant when i read this:

Your little boy had formed a strong attachment to his child minder having spent such a large amount of time with them so regularly. And it's seems probable they would have given him a lot of attention and nurturing while he was with them. Now they've suddenly disappeared from his life. This seems like it has triggered (for want of a much better phrase) fear of abandonment. This shows itself as clingyness and insecurity.

I'm not sure what the solution would be. You might find he gets better whenow he starts seeing the child minder again. How long has it been since he went?

NiceFalafels · 10/12/2016 17:57

Have you tried dropping a daytime nap so he's more tired?

Also give him the blanket. Why not?

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