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5YO lashes out and says awful things

1 reply

HumberLass · 09/12/2016 11:58

Hi, does anyone else's child lash out at the closest person when they fall over/hurt themselves? My 5yo son does this, every time he slips, trips or hurts himself in anyway his instant reaction is to lash out and hit the person closest to him, we've tried ignoring it completely and we've tried telling him its not ok and to think before he lashes out, he always says sorry afterwards but sometimes it takes a while and he'll say really horrible things, just now (prepare yourself) he said 'one day you'll just be blood' because he was playing my iPad (we limit this throughout the day, he's off sick today and i'm self employed so i've let him play it today as I have a mountain of work to do) and was holding it above his head he lost his grip and it tipped onto his head, so he punched me. I took the iPad away and told him his anger was unnecessary, at which point he then said he wanted me to die and I asked him if he really meant what he was saying and he said 'yes, one day you'll just be blood'. Which, is pretty chilling. After discussion once he's calmed down he agrees its not ok to act this way and he doesn't want me to die, then next time he hurts himself the same thing happens. I'll just point out he he is empathetic towards animals etc and doesn't have any weird fascinations about killing/maiming/hurting things, I think he just needs to learn how to learn to control that instant reaction of anger but I really am struggling on this one! Temper aside, my son is pretty easy going, polite and friendly, and we have no other behaviour concerns.

Has anyone else experienced this lashing out and saying horrid things with their child?

OP posts:
Kleinzeit · 11/12/2016 16:51

Yes, my DS did it, and he still does it a bit even though he's much older but he has an autism-spectrum condition, which your DS presumably doesn't. At the moment your DS simply doesn't have the maturity and self control to keep control when he is pain or very upset. He doesn't really understand the things he is saying, it's just venting. Assume that anything he says or does while in pain is meaningless. If he hits out while in pain you may want to keep a safe distance or be ready to dodge flying fists or feet just until the immediate pain has died down. And go deaf to anything he says. If he hits out in anger (not pain) then use time out and if he says nasty things in anger just say calmly "that's not nice" and move on. Don't ask if he really means what he says - he is five, he doesn't really know what it means at all.

He will grow out of it. Flowers

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