Did anyone have a child with limited understanding at 18-20 months?

[mscongeniality]

My son had an appointment with a Paediatrician yesterday due to his lack of speech at almost 20 months and she thinks its better to get him early intervention now rather than later.

My bigger concern is that he doesn't seem to understand or respond to simple tasks and commands either so his language can't progress until he starts understanding it.

I'm just wondering if anyone had an 18-20 month child who had limited understanding but started progressing later?

good luck with it all, chhalma, you seem to be on the ball.

don't stress yourself too much, this often is a marathon, not a sprint (I am still jogging along 7 years after seeking help first and will doing so for many many years to come).

pop over to the special needs children's board if you have questions. there is a very helpful and knowledgeable bunch of mums who are a few years ahead if you with a wealth of knowledge.

Thank you very much Coffeehouse for all of your valuable information and support. I am in a basic stage. don't know where to start and how to start. hoping will be in a system in couple of months. I will update you what I am going to do and what is the output.

good luck. it is a steep learning curve but doable. You are on the ball very early (most children would not even have a referral but do the wait & see.

Just wanted to post with a bit of a progress report to get some fresh opinions. It's been a month since I posted this and now my DS is just over 20 months corrected age and can:

-Finally hold and drink from a sippy cup! Before I would have to hold it up for him and he just couldn't be bothered to hold it himself. Maybe he didn't get it before but all of a sudden he has gotten it. He still plays with the cup after he drinks from it but its definitely progress.

-Before I used to have to lightly mash a banana and spoon feed him. Last week I started breaking off pieces and putting them in his mouth and he was happy to chew and eat them. Now all I have to do is peel the banana and offer him a bite and he does it! Making my life that little bit easier because I can take a banana with me as a snack when we go out. I'm sure eventually he will be able to hold the banana and feed himself but we're a bit far off from there.

-He has started understanding a few simple commands like 'go feed Elmo' (stuffed elmo doll from sesame street) when I hand him a spoon. He then goes and puts the spoon in Elmo's mouth to 'feed him'. He also sometimes puts the spoon in mine or DH's mouth to 'feed' us.

-He understands 'get your shoes' or 'we;re going out' and goes and gets his shoes and sits down the stairs with them beside him and looks at us to put them on for him. Sometimes he will just do that without prompting as he loves going out!

-No actual spontaneous words except for 'Tea' but he has tried to repeat 'shoes' and 'poo' a few times quietly when we were saying it to him. Otherwise lots of babbling.

Still no pointing though and he only communicates by coming and whining when he wants something, but he is making some slow but definite progress.

Hi! Sounds like your little one is making progress. I have an almost 3 year old, who is slowly starting to talk. At around 2 years he was not understanding more than very simple commands, and kept learning words, then stop saying them after a few weeks. We go to SALT group, and are having a review in a few weeks. He is now saying lots of "half words" (he only says half the word, so nobody other than me can understand much). He can also understand most of what I say to him, so we've made good progress. He is still quite far behind, but there are no worries about autism or anything like that. He is not behind in any other way, it's only language and speech. We were referred to SALT between 2- 2,5 years, as in my area they don't worry until then. Have you got a referral?

We're still not getting anywhere about being seen by SALT even though he's been referred and chased by both our Community Paed and our lovely GP. I spoke to the local SALT adminstrator and she was just no help and saying they don't do anything until the child is 2+. I kept asking her whats the point of the Paed and GP referring him then? She had no answer. They want me to keep taking him to the drop in sessions but they only occur once every 2-3 months so its pretty useless. My DH and I are fed up and have booked a private SALT assessment for next Monday! The therapist is coming over to ours and she will properly assess him for around 2 hours. I am feeling relieved because at least something will happen finally.

He still has no words but is understanding more and more. Drinking water really well from his sippy cup finally and feeding himself with a spoon too!

Another thing I noticed though is lately when he runs he shifts his side to the side to look at cupboards or the fireplace etc. Google tells me it could be a visual stim...

It is looking like he might be on the spectrum isn't it?

My DS (now 2yrs 1month) had zero communication at that age, and apparently very little understanding too. He's picking up a few words now. My GP said he didn't talk till he was 2 and a half. GP doesn't seem worried about DS at all, and nor does our (very experienced) nanny.

MY DH didn't talk till he was 3 apparently!!

BlueOnMondayNight I'm so glad to hear your DS is coming on now. My DS is now almost 22 months actual (20.5 months corrected). How did your son communicate before he had words? When mine wants something he will come to me or his dad and try and climb on us and whine. He only does that when he is hungry or needs a nappy change or tired. Lately he has also started looking at what he wants and looking at us and whining. I just wish he could just point or use a gesture though :(

I almost feel like he struggles with finger isolation sometimes because even when he's looking at books or playing an educational game on the ipad he bangs on pictures with his full hand instead of pointing. He does use his index finger just fine for pressing buttons, so its confusing.

By whining as well! (Although often he did point too).

He still whines a lot to signal he wants something. He might say something incomprehensible along with it too.

mscongeniality, I just wanted to say that even if he isnt pointing, him looking at something he wants and then looking at you is actually a good sign. Its him comminicating with you. My DS didnt do this, we had to work very hard to find things to motivate him to ask to have it. And I dont necessarily mean asking using words, but a sound, eye contact. Its the giving and taking of communication, if this makes sense?
If he is on the spectrum, and I know its scary to think of, it really will be ok.

BlueOnMondayNight Yea he seems to be able to get his needs across very well by whining so far, although unlike your DS there is no pointing here....yet. I've been making more of an effort to point to things because I don't think I really did that much around him. Hoping he gets it soon too!

User thank you for sharing. You're right, looking at us and what he wants is a sign of communication, which he wasn't even doing a few weeks ago so I guess that is good progress! In general he is definitely moving forward weekly. Just 2 weeks ago he had no interest in drinking water from a sippy cup himself. I tried for over a year with SO many different kinds! He just wasn't ready until now. Now he walks around drinking all the time, it's an amazing sight for me!

Today there was a Chinese New Year party at his nursery so I took him with my mom whose visiting. We both were observing him and the other kids. It's a baby nursery so max age is just about 2, and I honestly didn't notice any big difference between him and the others. They were all playing alongside each other not really together. He was happy to join in and play alongside but kept coming over to us for hugs and giving us a ball from the ball pit, so sharing stuff which he also didn't do before!

And only in the last week he has gotten the concept of 'giving' stuff. Now I put my hand out and ask him to give me whatever he's holding and he will nicely hand it over.

He might very well be on the spectrum but these seem like good things to me right?

I had a private SALT come over yesterday to do an assessment on him. She was here for two hours and brought games and toys and after playing with him she said that in her opinion he's not on the spectrum however he does seem to have some trouble organising his cognitive/fine motor/communication and she suggested that he gets an assessment done by an Occupational Therapist. She said he is intelligent and doesn't seem to have any learning disabilities. She said he did seem a bit behind his age which I know is true and think it's part of his prematurity.

My question is how good are SALT at assessing these kinds of things? Obviously I feel a bit relieved and I'm going to get him assessed by an OT. She did say that I was doing the right thing getting him early intervention as he needs to learn through proper 1-1 time.

Glad to hear the SALT's analysis.

I do however think you may be worrying a bit too much though.... I sort of get the feeling that you can't deal with the uncertainty of knowing what your DS will be like as a little boy, and so you're going to keep questioning whoever has given you the latest reassurance (e.g. how good are SALT at assessing this type of thing).

I would relax a bit (I know it's hard to do as a mum!). I've heard so many stories about very competent and smart adults having slow starts....

Blue you're absolutely right. I was just talking to my DH tonight about going to the GP about myself because I really can't deal with this level of anxiety any longer. Do you think that would be a good idea? I wish I could control how I feel but I'm not doing a good job of it on my own.

Have you suffered anxiety to a degree that it has a sustained negative impact before?

What does your DH think about your DS or say in response to hearing your concerns about him?

I don;t see that it could do any harm to see your GP. But, given waiting times for counselling, there's a risk they just stick you on a dose of antidepressants to control the anxiety if it really is debilitating. (Not that there's anything wrong with ADs; its just that it may not be warranted in your case so it would be a shame to go on them if you don't need to.)

So if you could afford private counselling (CBT?) that may be an idea?

Late to the board but the opening thread sounded so much like my DS who is 20 months actual.
He's none verbal, no words and only realm new sounds other than uh In the last few weeks. He babbled well but at 10 months was reintubated for 10 days and he wpke up refusing to talk. I just get told that if he did it once he can dp it again but he's 20 mo now and still behind where he was at 10 Mo.
I dont think he understands tons. He can't point to body parts or colours or animals. I think he recognises people so if I say go to Nanny or where's Daddy he's ok but hit and miss
Hit and miss on responding to his name if he's "busy"
I can't get him to learn sign
SALT see him for food aversion (tubie baby) but say they won't pick up his speech til he's 2!!

Updating after almost a month and a half. I took a break from posting because the constant worry had driven me to some really bad anxiety which I actually ended up starting medication for. I'm doing a LOT better now thankfully.

My son has now been assessed by a private SALT, occupational therapist, and last week by an excellent private development paed as well. All three have now said that he's not ASD, and just seems to have some slight sensory processing issues which are causing his communication delay.

The occupational therapist assessed him at his nursery last week and she said that he doesn't even require any intervention right now and she will see him again in 6 months time to review.

He has made a lot of progress in the last few weeks. He is very engaged, with everyone, brings me toys to play with all the time, and has started communicating his needs. He also said 'shoos' and brought me his shoes to put on for him.

He's making lots of different sounds and seems to be trying to talk and we're sure now that he just needs a bit more time. We're already doing private SALT and I'm spending a lot of time with him and I'm not worried anymore. Apparently his dad (my DH) was also a late talker so could be that as well.

His understanding of language has gotten so much better! He easily understands simple tasks now like 'bring me your shoes' etc, which he didn't a few months ago when I wrote this post. He knows and understand lots of words now and points them out in his picture books. He enjoys doing that now whereas a few months ago he had no interest. He has also calmed down a LOT. He doesn't run around hyperactively anymore and actually sits down and does activities.

So overall things are all going positive and I just wanted to update in case anyone was following this!

Just read this thread OP. I have nothing helpful to add but great to hear things are moving forward in such a positive way.

Just posting another progress update as I know there are a few people following this.

DS is doing really well and coming along very quickly now. He copies so many things now and brings me and his dad toys/books all the time. He understanding of vocabulary is expanding daily. He can point out between 75-100 things in a picture book in just a month!
This morning he picked up his Hungry Caterpillar book and took it to his dad and climbed into his lap to read it. It was a sweet moment for us!
A few weeks ago he started putting his toy phone to his ear and babbling too!
He's making lots of different sounds and copies sounds but struggles to get the words out, for example when I say 'food' he quietly says 'foo'. So we're sure that he will talk when he's ready. He's technically 22 months corrected age and lots of children talk later. The important thing is his understanding is really coming on and he is communicating and initiating joint attention all the time. Whenever he's playing he keeps looking at us to see if we're watching him.

Now I really believe that sometimes some kids can just take their time and I just wanted to emphasize that here because its very easy to get caught up with what you find online.

It's been 2 months since my last update. Not sure if this is helping anyone but I know that if I had read more reassuring threads with updates I wouldn't have spiraled into extreme anxiety like I did, so I want to keep updating just in case.

My DS just turned 2 corrected age, his actual age is 25 months. I've been abroad visiting family and he is doing so well. His understanding has come on so quickly, he now understands so many one step commands and also lots of two step ones. He follows so many directions and also follows along to his favourite nursery rhymes (he can do all the actions for If you're happy and you know it!). He knows and can point out a dozen shapes, basically anything we teach him once or twice he picks it up quickly. He knows the numbers 1-10, can point them all out and can say most of them as well. Knows a lot of the alphabet and can recite A-H as well. Also knows at least 6 colours and can say Red (Yed!) and blue (mboo!).

Obviously his speech needs a lot of work but he can say a lot more words now than a few months ago and does try more as well. He's so social with everyone, also very cheeky and becoming a bit naughty but that's another story! He doesn't hurt anyone though and he's never aggressive. He's taught himself how to do roly polies and he laughs like crazy when he does them. He loves all kinds of toys but his attention span is short but then again hes only 2!
So overall he is just fine and will be getting more verbal as months pass I'm sure!

MsCongeniality thanks for the update, I've just read the thread and your most recent update is wonderful to read. Are you feeling better now too?

My son has development delays with everything except motor skills and still waiting for the first pead appointment after the HV advice so I'm where you we a few months ago and getting anxious about what's to come with regards to assessments and specialists. Not sure after reading this if I should go ahead and look for local private behavioural and speech therapists myself to get in there early and give him the best start.

I'm finding myself just not to be thinking about this all the time and feeling a bit helpless just now, trying to read stories and talk about books and toys gets me nowhere with him he just isn't interested.

I took the MCHAT again today after over 3 months and what a difference. He is now coming back as low risk because in the last few months he has started pointing. He takes my hand or drags me to where he needs help and then points to whatever he wants but can't reach.
He also points when we're out and about at anything that interests him, lately that is cars, bicycles, and big buses. Since the MCHAT can be taken at upto 30 months I'm feeling really happy because he is 27 months now and been doing more and more over the last few months. His understanding is coming along quickly, he can point to over 10 body parts when asked, point out and say A-F, and recognizes around 4-5 colours, over 9 shapes, etc.

The only thing left now is proper speech but I'm really optimistic he's just taking his time. He has more words now than he did a few months ago, eg. 'seep' for sleep, 'foo for food', yed for red, thee for three etc...I'm quite sure he will need speech therapy to correct his pronounciation but let's see!

Dairymilkmuncher thank you I'm doing a lot better now, I did take antidepressants for a few months but I'm off them now and doing okay so far. If you feel you can't cope I would definitely suggest seeing your GP, your own mental health is so important for taking care of your child.

I am following this with interest. My son has a lot of signs of autism. He's just turned two and his speech is fairly non existent but a few words have started coming in the last week or two since he's moved up a room at nursery. He doesn't point but has been bringing things for about 4 months and has recently started to take people's hands and lead them when he wants something. He will pick up his jacket and jump in his buggy if he wants to go out for example. He also started leading the nursery girls to the sleep room and handing them his sleeping bag when he wanted to nap. He often doesn't answer to his name and he flaps in front of the tv when excited. His understanding is limited and he won't do most simple commands but will do some like high 5. He used to wave and clap but stopped around the time he started walking (quite late at 17 months). He has recently started clapping again but no waving yet. I'm about 80% sure he is autistic. We are currently awaiting a SALT referral but no idea how long we will have to wait.

Forgot to add he has never passed a hearing test either. We've been back many times but he won't concentrate, just wriggles to get out of the chair. He had fluid in his ears at last check but not at any of the previous ones since 6 months old. He had fluid early on due to a quick birth (fairly common I believe). So there may also be an underlying issue like glue ear but we really aren't sure. They've offered a test under general anaesthetic but we don't really want to put him through it, especially if it's glue ear as nothing might show up if it's intermittent.

Any updates to offer? My 21 month old really does.not understand us and I am so.scared for his future.