Hi everyone, I'm new to Mumsnet and have just joined specifically to try to address a problem I'm having with my son, who is 2 yrs 8 months old. He is a very affectionate, loving child but when he is over-excited (usually in a public, and therefore v.v.embarassing place, such as a toddler group or play centre) he will sometimes grab another child round the neck and hug them really, really hard until they are either screaming in pain or turning blue. He is definitely not doing it in order to hurt the other child, but it always happens when I've got my hands full with my 4-month-old daughter, so it's definitely an attention-grabbing move on his part. Normally I would ignore bad behaviour, as this is usually the swiftest way to stop it (e.g. I turn around and walk away on the rare occasion when he has a public tantrum, as long as he's not in danger of being run over etc). However, this is not something I can ignore as it is dangerous to the child who is being hugged. Today he did it at a playgroup we'd gone to for the first time. It was horrendous, and I was trying to prise his fingers from round the other boy's neck to no avail, and in the end I SMACKED my small son really, really hard on his bottom to get him to release the other child . . . it was horrible, I am so ashamed of myself, some of the other mothers were disgusted but I honestly couldn't do anything else to make him stop (asking/telling him not to just does not work). I had my baby in my other arm as I was feeding her, and I felt soooo helpless, and once it was over I ran off to the loo and sobbed!! In the past I've often had a chat with him before we've been somewhere and explained that, if he wants to hug someone, he must do it gently, hug them round the waist (not the neck), and stop if they get upset. Usually this works. But I didn't have a pre-match chat with him today because I forgot (and he hasn't done it for a while so it didn't occur to me that it would be a problem . . . how quickly we forget huh). He goes to nursery 2 days a week and he never does the aggressive hugging there, and he never does it when he's out somewhere with my husband, so it's definitely something he's doing to get my attention, but I also know for sure that he doesn't mean to hurt the recipient of the hug - he is a huggy boy, he gets a bit carried away when my hands are full, and he then just doesn't seem physically able to stop himself. I am frightened that he is going to accidentally kill another child. I can't believe this is happening; he is a really lovely boy and I can't understand why he isn't able to understand that the other child is screaming in pain etc. He is usually v.sensitive to other people's feelings and he knows the difference between happy, sad, etc etc. I can't believe that I smacked him like that, and I don't want to do it again. Please, please help - but please don't suggest that I just ignore this behaviour as it really is too dangerous to ignore. Thanks lots for reading this, sorry it's a bit of an outpouring . . . all advice v.v.gratefully received