Textbook ways of dealing with tantrums

[blushingmare]

So, I know all 2 year olds are challenging and mine is no exception! The tantrums are new to me though - DC1 never really had them, DC2 - wow

I haven't done much reading up on this and have just been muddling along using a combination of distraction/bribery/cajoling/ignoring and sometimes, when we just have to get stuff done, physically forcing him to do what I ask. But recently they seem to have stepped up a gear and I feel like I have no control over my DS anymore. I actually think he's going to physically hurt himself badly at some point - he's already thrown himself off the third step and out of a car this week!

So can anyone tell me what do the textbooks say about tantrums? What are you supposed to do, in an ideal motherhood world?

Wow sounds like us! Dd1 never had toddler tantrums dd2 is world class at them and we're at a loss too, hopefully someone will be along with words of wisdom soon.....

Prevention.
Once they get in a paddy it is a game of survival. No reasoning with them.

With your first you can devote more attention to them - listening, making sure they're fed regular make sure they get enough naps. Bit harder with the second...

But that's it really. 2 year olds cannot listen to reason when tantrumming so you have to ride it out. And try and prevent it next time.

Believe - yeah you're right, there's certainly no way out once he's flicked the switch that's for sure.

But prevention is hard because the things he tantrums about are not getting his own way or not wanting to do something or something not happening the way he wants. And I can't just always do what he wants.

I definitely hear what you say re sleep. I think he gets reasonable sleep. And I don't think he's hungry. I know what you're saying with prevention, but I don't know how!

I used to shout "look there's a giraffe!"
Distraction.
Saying they can do what they want after we've done the shopping etc. get a yes first. Do you want to go to the park? Yes. Well let's see how fast we can get the shop done and then get there quick!
Give them responsibility. Choose a jumper. Makes dressing easier.
Make it a game. Teeth cleaning. Who can growl the best. Growl like a lion. How about like a shark! (sharks don't growl? Sure they do!)
Stay calm. This too shall pass.
Ignore once they go. Never try and cajole and reason out of a tantrum.

IGNORE THEM...(though, with you saying he is jumping off things is difficult to do that I suppose)

Iv just posted about my two, they are bad but I can handle the tantrums....

What are the tantrums about/for??

If its asking for something..'mum can i have....' and you have said no, then stick to that...say no ONCE then ignore ANY whining afterward....if you give in then the child will see if I whinge I get and so will do the same the next time you say no.

If you have asked your child to do something like tidy up or something along those lines and they refuse, try this rule:
Give instruction 'sam, come and wash your hands please' (never say 'can you......' this is giving them a question which they will just simply answer no to!) wait 5 seconds....if child does as asked give lots of praise...if the child does not do as asked repeat the instruction again in the same way and tone.....wait 5 seconds...if the child does as asked praise, if not put child into 'quiet time' ( sit them down for a few mins...no contact) after quiet time repeat the above....this is called the START STOP routine....from my triple p course im currently taking. very helpful and if you google triple p you will find info on it....good luck...oh and dont be afraid of using this rule when out and about to, at shopping or wherever...put them in 'quiet time' in a shopping aisle if you have to and just walk away but keep them in view...

Well it depends what he wants. And you might be able to guess what he wants and try and avoid it coming up? Or he might be hungry/tired so gets upset easily about stuff.