child autism...

[Eljkr]

Before people suggest I am going to be booking an appointment to get a referral and further opinion for my son but wanted some advise..

My son is 3, and over the last year we have noticed through him starting school/playgroups that he doesn't some unusual things which we don't observe other children doing.

Myself and my partner have discussed the possibility of him being mildly autistic and more recently my DM who looks after him regularly confided in me that she had some concerns but didn't want to upset me by suggesting it.
I don't want to self diagnose him but wanted to know from parents who have children with Autism. What were the tell tail signs that led you to take your child for a referral, especially at a young age.

TIA

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My dd had a significant speech delay , didn't point, didn't draw my attention to things , very fussy with food, to name but a few things

I say this as I've got two with autism and one is three and a half. The spectrum is very vast. What you see in one might not be in another. The saying goes if you've met one children with autism you've met one child with autism.

Our traits were: significant speech delay, spinning, jumping, eye contact, lack of response to name, repetitive play, turn taking issues, sharing issues, lack of engagement. Both of mine are diagnosed though my eldest who is 6 also has ADHD aswell.

The Sen boards are great.

Hi, my son is Autisic and his biggest sign was lack of speech (non verbal until age four) so that was obviously a big sign for him and the reason he got refered.

Other signs included:

1. Lack of eye contact. He did make short bursts of eye contact but never for long.

1. No interest in other children and struggling to share.

1. A HUGE obsession with anything todo with buttons - phones, iPads, DVD players, TVS etc etc - you get the jist.

1. Staring into space.

1. Repetitive play - opening and shutting doors and gates etc.

1. A dislike of busy, new or loud places.

1. Hiding away in the toilets, playing with the taps at toddler groups.

1. Routines - had to walk a certain way to a destination.

1. Extreme fussy eating.

10. Lack of self care skills. He was dry day and night at three BUT won't go the toilet alone, he cannot get dressed or undressed will at nearly 6!

11. Obsessions & fixations - he has many 'strong' interests that he can become too absorbed in at times.

12. Lack of danger is a big sign for my son - even at five he would run into a road if we let him!

Every child with Autism is different. My son has always been an over affectionate, emotional but extremely smiley and happy baby and toddler (still is) but other autistic children hate affection etc.

first signs were speech and language delay (at ca 18 months).

btw, there is no such thing as 'mild autism'.

I've heard the phrase a few times and wondered how someone can be mildly autistic. You either are or you aren't. I wonder if some mean they have autistic traits or they're high functioning.

We are still 2 years in on trying to get a diagnosis for DS2.

He is verbal and academically able, so potentially HFA.

However, people assume as he can speak, and engage that he is not actually "that bad" - emotionally and socially he is actually really badly affected - one community doctor has said his autism is severe, despite school and other parents labelling him as "quirky" and just being "mankyscotsboy".

Potential diagnosis ASD, ADHD, Dispraxia

I have found he never ticks all the boxes for anything so far, but was ticking enough in some that he was flagged as "different" But not enough or causing enough issues for them to do anything!

He had eye contact.

Was a bit late with speech, but not remarkably so.

was 5 nearly 6 weeks premature

Hated sudden noises

Hated balloons

Loved cars, bikes, tech stuff

Loved cuddles & tickles

HATED kisses

We noticed his chosen friends were like him, "quirky"

Very bright, but no attention span unless focused on a his interest at the time.

School say he is doing enough that he is under their radar, either secure or working within, but every teacher has said he is clearly brilliant and should be excelling - he isn't.

Prone to melt downs if he felt he was in the wrong " breaking a rule".

Will talk without prompting about things that interest him, and break into peers and adult conversation to do so.

Thinks everyone is his friend and takes them on face value at the time - even if they have been -littleshits- unpleasant before - he lives in that moment.

Even now age 11 he are still fighting for a diagnosis and for the support he deserves and needs.

I wish I had started the process earlier, but people kept telling me there was no issue, he was just quirky - I am now terrified for him transitioning to high school with no diagnosis or support.

Go with your gut.

We first raised concerns about autism when our youngest son was 3 years old, but we did not get a diagnosis until he was nearly 8. (He is now 21).

The concerns we had were:

Developmental delay in a number of areas including severe language delay
Frequent bizarre behaviour eg banging his head repeatedly on the floor
Poor concentration
No eye contact
Staring into space
No social skills
Playing alongside other children rather than with them
No awareness of danger
Routines -we always had to walk a certain way home or he would have a complete melt down
Invaded other people's space
Obsessions
Sensory issues with labels in clothes, wearing socks and shoes, having his hair cut

I agree there is no such thing as "mild autism". Autism is considered to be on a spectrum. Those on the higher end of the spectrum (high functioning) are often very much misunderstood. They may present as though they are coping with the world but they are not and this can cause huge problems. If your son does have autism, don't minimise it, for his sake.