Best way to deal with a sweary toddler?

[RedStripeLassie]

Please help. Dd is three and has a habit of swearing, in context if things aren't going right. "Fucks sake" and "fucking hell" being he favs at the moment. She knows now that she'll get a reaction from me so is on repeat till I say something. Do you completely ignore and let her get bored of saying it without any noticeable reaction or explain they're bad words gently or just tell her off. I'm trying a clumsy mix of the three at the moment and I think I'm making it worse.

I must be in the minority because I wouldn't be shocked at all to hear a toddler swear. They can pick them up so easily. My 2 year old heard someone say the equivalent of 'fuck' in their language once, months ago, and he picked it up instantly and still uses it from time to time.

He also picked up ' oh bugger' from his grandparents which we managed to change to 'oh bother'. He spent most of last week fiddling around with his Fireman Sam backpack and muttering 'for God's sake' in a perfect impression of me from the time the zip got stuck on my bag while I was in a mad rush to get to my mobile before it stopped ringing. Ignoring works best out of everything we've tried but it might take a while if she has been saying it for a while and getting a reaction.

The same as everyone else has said "Stop swearing in front of her" it is not going to
stop until you do.

Good luck

I've completely stopped swearing in front of her and dh only does the dropping a non aggressive 'fuck' into sentences rather than us going to town on the 'ahhh ffs' type.
Now it's happened and I can't do anything to change the past, how do u stop the swearing? Someone up thread said ignore which I thought would work but just eggs her on till I snap and tell her not to say things like that. At that point she giggles!!! Ahhhh!

Ignore, ignore, ignore. No matter how many times she says it - she's blatantly trying to get a reaction, so just don't give her one. She'll soon get bored. It's worked for us - DD picked up one or two choice words from DH but has given up on them now. And I remind him eight times a day he needs to give them up, too.

And in case nobody has mentioned it yet get your DP to buck up. Though I have to say, the odd fuck isn't really worth worrying about compared to taking drugs in the park. Really, that's not ok.

Have you talked to her about it? Really calmly but seriously explained that there are some words that some people think are very rude and they get upset when they hear them. That parents teach their children not to say these words in case they upset someone with them. Tell her you're trying to stop saying them and she should too, maybe encourage her to be good at not doing it, and let her tell you off for doing it?

Also praise her for not doing it. Like 'you haven't said rude words at all this morning. Well done! You're getting really good at this!' Etc.

PS ignoring never worked on anything with my kids - maybe it depends what kind of person they are, but mine only ever responded to rationale

threemore I'll try that. It hadn't occurred to me before and if I'd said why she shouldn't say those words where I'd either be at the end of my tether and snappy or really embarrassed out in public. Either way I doubt it sounded calm and rational!!

Back to the ignoring otherwise.

Totally ignore it the more you make a deal of it the more the child will do. It x

OP, our son has picked up 'fucking' from just hearing it in the car twice. We don't swear in front of him but it comes out every now and again. We've found the best way to deal with it is to ignore it and use replacement words, pretending they are naughty words. So for example 'fishcakes', 'flipping', 'piffle', 'fiddlesticks'. Try to get your DP to do the same. Good luck, it's hard

I've got a filthy mouth in general and am very lucky that DS hasn't picked up any of them.

I agree with pps about switching words - I say fishcake instead of fuck/fucker. It's quite funny to see a 2 year old shout fishcake when he's banged his toe or something.

Ignore, ignore, ignore

Replace your swear words with alternatives, like sugar, fiddlesticks and oh my days

Ignore it! Many years ago when dd was about 4 I was driving down the road and someone cut me up, I shouted "you bloody idiot" when dd piped up, " no mummy get it right, he's a tosser!" I could of died. From then on I've never swore in front of them!

Apparently we children picked up 'shit' when we were children and my mum very casually said 'oh you can say 'shit' as much as you want. But you.must.never.say blueberries.' This was swiftly followed by our incessant chanting of blueberries whenever possible and 'shit' went out the window.

I'm glad you are keen to address this, because I'd be pretty horrified if I heard that. DH and I don't swear at all so our children don't, except DD1 who has picked up 'shit' from her special school at the age of 10. Interestingly, DD2 (9) and DD3 (7) don't copy her.

Shit isn't a swear word

Ignore and replace, got it!
lougle love the reverse psychology .

Um, shit is a swear word isn't it?

I think shit is a swear word - not the worst admittedly, but a swear word nonetheless!!

I like a good swear as much as the next person but I don't in front of the children because that is parenting. So much as you might like her to stop, it is unrealistic to expect it when your DH can't be bothered to stop swearing in front of her.

But then given he thinks it is ok to smoke weed and drink at a children's playground the perception of what both of you think is normal family behaviour is very much off.

I think the OP has made it clear before that she knows this isn't 'normal' family behaviour and is probably trying to do what she can to improve her situation.

Kicking someone when they're down does NOT help.

Thanks orange
I got a chance to try out new tactics this morning as she was repeating 'fucking sake' over and over as I wouldn't let her use scissors! So I tried ignoring but she just got pissed off shouting it louder and then I tried changing it to trucks snake but she gets the intonation (right word?) so right it still sounds bad. I'd be so embarrassed if she does it at nursery

I think distraction can work ie ' oh look a squirrel outside' child rushes to window, then you say ah it's gone, shall we go outside and try and find it, here take this piece bread and you can feed it or some birds we find, quick let's get shoes.. scissors forgotten

DS is 2 and a half and I clearly heard him saying 'Bloody hell bloody hell' yesterday as he struggled to pull off his sock. This morning I unthinkingly referred to my boss as an 'arse' in front of DS, and he then parrotted 'arse arse' several times. We just ignored it, but have reinstated the swear box, which we've found helps to focus DH and my mind on keeping our speech clean. It's 5 bucks if DS repeats a rude word directly after DH or I says it, $1 for a minor swear word spoken in DS' presence, $2 for an f word in front of him. We don't tend to do $2 swears, but I think the penalty helps to maintain that!

DD started swearing too, she dropped her pencil and said "fucking hell!" I asked her where she'd heard it and it was apparently the nursery assistant when DD coloured the table..! She was saying it maybe once a day for about a week, I just said "oh dear, what's the matter?" Each time and it stopped.
Good luck, it's a horrible feeling and while you'll want to tell her off, I think the best thing to do is ignore and introduce new words to replace