37wks pg and worried about 3yo DD

[Beachmum85]

I'm exhausted, aching, grouchy beyond belief and a little fed up of playing/ trying to come up with fun activities for DD.

Since I stopped work (which I do from home anyway) DH has assumed that he can get on with work (our joint company) and I'll look after DD1, all day every day. Of course I am enjoying these precious days with DD, but she is an incredibly anxious child, and we have spent the last year building up her confidence to start at pre-school (which she did in Sept, but is still a traumatic drop-off). We have also made a real effort for her to spend time with Daddy, because if not she is glued to me like a little limpet (to the point where I can't even go to the loo/ shower alone).

This is happening again now!! Just before baby arrives!! And I struggling with it. I'm stressing out that she won't be able to cope when baby is here, and I cannot be with her 24/7. I'm also worried about the day/night we will be away to actually have baby... argh! Oh, and did I mention I'm exhausted?

I feel like DH just isn't helping the situation, and if I bring it up for the millionth time, he's going to just get annoyed... help!

On his next day off, tell him your going out for the day and leave dd at home with him.

Nip his behaviour in the bud before the baby arrives otherwise it's going to be misery. He needs to back you up.

He absolutely needs to do more with her and he can't leave it all to you, both for your sake (you need a rest!) and for hers: if she's used to you doing everything then a new baby appearing is going to be even more traumatic for her than it will be anyway.

FWIW I found that the last few weeks of pregnancy with DS2 were harder than the first few weeks with a newborn, both because I was so knackered and sore when pregnancy and also because DS1 (exactly 3 when DS2 was born) seemed much more settled once the baby arrived: I think the reality was much better than the fear of the unknown from his perspective.

Thanks both.

That's a relief to hear furrygiraffe as it is something I have often thought/hoped, that like everything with DD, the thought/ build-up is much worse than the reality.