Development at 11 months

[Lilyabelle]

Hi all,

So, I drafted out the most enormous post, rambling on and on about my DS and all the things he can and can't do (poor little guy) but I ended up boring myself to death and thought you all would be too. Basically, I am riddled with anxiety, mainly because I seem to be surrounded by 'genius' and 'advanced' babies in real life who have mastered the power of speech and mobility from incredibly young ages and now I feel like my DS is starting to really drop behind and that I am a complete failure as a mother. I am feeling so depressed and starting to really despise motherhood. I knew it would have its challenges but to be honest, I bloody hate it.

In short, DS can sit unsupported, babble, bum shuffle a bit, does a vague waving like motion, pulls up onto furniture occassionally but it looks like it takes a great deal of effort on his part as he is a tall baby and quite heavy set, can stand with a bit of support for short periods of time, hand me toys on request, responds to his name when he wants to and hold his cup to drink. There are probably other things but they are the main ones I can think of. Oh, and he sleeps well.

However, no actual words yet, crawling, pointing or clapping, feeding himself with a spoon, coasting, pulling up regularly and nimbly... Is this unusual? What could your 11 month old baby not do (I'm blatantly fishing for reassurances and comfort in numbers!). I'd be particuarly interested to hear from anyone whose baby is / was on the larger / taller end of the scale as I'm hoping this could be a reason for the physical delay. Also, has anyone heard of any correlation between development and babies who are breastfed or formula fed? I only ask because all of my advanced babies are formula fed whereas my DS is breastfed. Plus, can really bad teething pain distract development? DS is having a terrible time with his teeth at the moment. Basically, I'm clinging onto any shred of hope that everything is ok with him.

Thanks so much in advance, I am so grateful for any advice / reassurance / hope. And well done if you finished reading this long (but not as long as my original) post!

Obviously where I mentioned 'my advanced babies' I meant to write, 'my friends advanced babies'. I sadly do not have any advanced babies as yet

He sounds fine OP! And it would have nothing to do with being breastfed/formula fed anyway. Looking at DS1's preschool class, it's impossible to tell who walked/talked first, they all get there in the end.

If you're worried, you could try to get hold of your HV, who could check things out for you.

Babies all develop at different times. You lo can do things mine can't and mine can do things yours can't. Stop comparing babies. No good will come of it.

Zero correlation with feeding method, don't worry about that.

He sounds pretty normal. They all do stuff at different times. It's rare you get a kid that's doing everything early - I had short sentences at a year but I was physically very slow with several things (crawling, gross motor skills etc.)
What I notice when I take ds (12 months) to baby group is how different they all are. Some not walking at 18 months, one walking at six months (! Eeek) some talking, many totally silent. And there's always something to stress about. My ds looks like a malnourished Dickensian urchin next to a roomful of strapping Viking babies.

If you have any kind of non specific but niggling concern, talk to your HV and perhaps see your doc. You're the mum, you know your kid best. But nothing you write above sounds like a delay.

And he sleeps! Does he fancy giving my ds done lessons because that's one thing my ds is seriously not advanced at!

Oh and people over egg their babies' achievements allllll the time ;)

Yep they all do things at different times. Relax and don't compare. Remember, people are going to talk about what their kids are doing, rather than what they are not.

Ds is 15 months nearly now, and is tall -98th centile, but not really heavy. He was also ebf. He was late to sit unaided, almost 9 months I think, I don't remember when he crawled, about 9 or 10 months. He walked 'properly' at 13 months. That said, he can't really use a spoon, can manage a pre loaded fork, and says mamamamam quite a lot. Not much else in the way of words.

Clapped later than most friends, and his sleep is crap!

My brother was nearly two by the time he walked despite standing at a ridiculously early age.

They are all different, it will come in time.

The list of things he can do is perfectly adequate. Try not to waste his babyhood rushing him onto the next thing and worrying.

My daughter is 11 months. She is 98th centile for height. She is like a baby giraffe - all wobbly and legs flailing every direction. She's only just started pulling herself up on furniture. She sometimes babbles, but mostly says naninnaninaninna all fucking day

There are two babies from my ante-natal class - one was born the same day as her, and was walking at 8 months, and another was born the day after her and is already stringing together words to make short phrases.

He's doing fine OP. One of the things that makes your second child easier than your first is that you know they'll get there eventually.

As PPs have said try to enjoy your ds just as he is without rushing for the next stage. You will look back and with you'd paid more attention. Motherhood is an exercise in mindfulness, I think. In fact there's a lovely book called Momfulness that makes it just that.

I remember when ds1 was small being amazed at all the different ways for a tiny newborn to become a walking, talking marauding toddler. It's a really amazing thing.
Enjoy your gorgeous bundle

When I say all the different ways I mean that each baby takes its own route - but they all start and finish at pretty much the same place

He sounds fine.

Have a look at this: www.a-zpeds.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/ASQ-12-Month.pdf

Sounds like he's doing fine, honestly, definitely stop comparing. It's pointless as they're all so different. My DS is brilliant with anything gross motor but slower in other areas, he's only recently started saying words and he's 17mo! Also only really able now to actually properly spoon feed self, could hold spoon in mouth ages ago but little/no food would reach mouth. Also, he was a late clapper and pointer for some reason. I think a lot depends on their individual personality and interests. Mine is very stubborn, preoccupied with his own things, just wants to be outdoors all the time exploring. Whereas I've known babies who are more placid and sit still for longer pick up cognitive skills quicker.

Anyway, children have sudden spurts in development. You might find that your baby suddenly overtakes your friends babies in certain areas. But pointless comparing anyway so don't worry about it x X

Op he sounds fine! 11 months is still very young. At that age my DS bum shuffled, waved and clapped. No words apart from 'da'. He pulled up at 12 months, crawled at 13 months and was walking independently at 14 months. 15 months now and walking well but still no words.
The key thing is progress, as long as he's doing something new each month and making progress then there's unlikely to be an issue - he sounds like he's doing plenty.
DD was one of those 'advanced' babies but she was unusual in my peer group.

I think he sounds fine. My niece is very tall and she can't do much more than your baby on the physical side and she is 16 months. My baby is also 16 months and she's only really just started saying some proper words.

Really try not to worry. He's only very little still!

He sounds absolutely fine for an 11 month old. Maybe not advanced, but his capabilities are completely normal and appropriate and he is by no means slow or behind.

I have a tall and fairly heavy son too, and I felt that he probably advanced more slowly physically than some other babies I know precisely because there was so much more of him to move around.

It was almost like he was just waiting to be strong enough to do things or something, because in literally a fortnight he went from sitting around like a spud and doing a little bit of butt-shuffling if he wanted something out of reach, to walking.

I know five other babies all born the same month as him, and all of them crawled and pulled up quite early (at like 5 or 6 months when mine could barely manage to sit up for ten seconds without toppling over) but he just came from behind and actually ended up walking before four out of five of those more 'advanced' babies.

If anything at 15 months he now outstrips all those other babies in many ways - running faster, climbing with more assurance, kicks and throws balls, scribbles with crayons, stacks blocks 8 high, dances and claps, uses a spoon -usually to flick food, drinks from an open cup etc. The only area he is still behind in is his speech. He rates as average or advanced for everything else. So it really can all change very fast.