4 yo dd - change of behaviour - at my wits end.

[helsi]

My 4 yo old daughters behaviour recently has changed so much and I am at my wits end. the new baby came along in May but it is her more recent behaviour that is concerning me.

She wees on clothes and/or towels in her bedroom rather than going to the toilet - in fact I have just caught her pooing in the bathroom bin. When I caught her she said she was using it at a potty!

Her temper is also something to be desired she just will not do as she is told and this frustrates me so much that when I try and keep my temper it doesn't seem to have an effect on her and so I feel like yelling - I try not to as much as I can.

She does not get left out of anything in fact dh and I have been making a concious effort to include her more, praise her more rather than riticise - everything really that we feel we would be told to try. we have strated sticker charts but not seeming to have the desired effect.

Her appetite has also ceased - she eats next to nothing and I'm getting worried. taking her to health visitor tomorrow.

Have there been any other changes, more recently? Like a new nursery or anything? I think a lot of children's behaviour changes a lot when they go to nursery/school, just out of tiredness/having to behave all day. They have meltdowns at home as a kind of release.

not advice as such but just wanted to add that our ds (4 on Friday) is going through a similar stage. His baby brother was born in April and all was well initially but now he is really demanding attention all the time.

This is despite us deliberately making more time for him, using over the top praise/rewards etc. He is also showing definite 'regressive' tendancies too like baby talk. All sounds a bit sibling rivalry related to me.

At nursery or out with Grandparents he's like butter wouldn't melt - but then he's got no competition from DS2.

Hope the HV helps, although pleasant ours just trotted out the usual text book suggestions of time out/consistency etc which we already do...it's very frustrating and time consuming isn't it?

I was about to say the same that Lisa said, most sibling rivalry doesn't start until babies become mobile. So my guess is that you have to make some room and wait for the storm to pass as you are already doing exactly what is recommended.