Dyspraxia

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My 4 year old DS has been diagnosed with dyspraxia. I've always been aware that he struggles with tasks that other children his age can manage with ease. His speech is particularly delayed too.

The peadiatrition has explained that this is a life long condition and that is the part I am most worried and upset about. How much will his every day life be affected by this? I think I was hoping that he was just developing at a slower pace and that at some point he would catch up.

He gets so frustrated and upset at times. Should I explain to him the reason why he finds things so hard? How much should I encourage independence and how much should I help him?

Can anyone with experience of dyspraxia help?

Dh is Dyspraxic it was called clumsy child syndrome back then he got no help mil was just told it was CCS and he was left he was put in a special unit in primary mil fought for him to go back to mainstream. Sorry to derail op just when you mentioned your dh.

If you don't mind my asking, what difficulties in particular led to you seeking/him receiving his diagnosis?

My ds is 5 and has some issues, but he copes at school now to the point they look borderline; we are much more aware of it at home, with sensory stuff and emotional outbursts. He is a good talker, but has a couple of difficulties in pronouncing that people always seem to notice, he can ride his bike (and in fact his penmanship and reading etc has improved since he's done that and swimming lessons) but other physical things are a different story.

DS says "I tried my best" and my heart breaks for him. The fact that he is already aware that he can't do things that other children can.

I've called school today to ask for an appointment to discuss how they can support him.

I shall definitely sit down with DS this weekend to help him to understand what Dyspraxia mean for him and how we as parents and his school can help him.

He is clever, he has an amazing memory, he is warm and affectionate and had a great little personality, so much character. I'll make sure he understands that he is an amazing little lad and dyspraxia doesn't have to hold him back.

I'm dyspraxic! I have dyslexia and discalcula too. I have a degree and can drive.
I make my life easier by driving an automatic car, although I have a manual licence, being as organised as I can, and not being too hard on myself. I was diagnosed at university after many years of being emotional, clumsy and rubbish at sports! I would encourage reading, as my spelling is pretty good because I have always loved it, sports and fitness that he enjoys, (I love swimming) and using a computer with speech to text. Makes my life easier

Also, Daniel Radcliffe is dyspraxic! Tell him he's special like Harry Potter

Satsuki, sorry I'm on my phone so don't see replies when I'm typing!

I'll list some of the issues we noticed with DS:

Noticeably late crawling, walking and in particular talking. He talks now and has a vast vocab but just cannot pronounce the words/sounds well enough to be understood by most people.

Was unable to drink from a cup. The cup would just appear to slip out of his hand continuously, he had no grip. The same with cutlery, he would revert to using his hands.

Couldn't ride a trike or a bike. Just couldn't work out how to pedal forward. Would get frustrated and cross and would say he wanted to walk instead.

Doesn't really move his arms when running. They are held by his side if that makes sense.

Cannot hold a pencil. Some of the initial issues have improved a little but pencil grip has not.

Really struggles to get dressed by himself. It's like he forgets what he is supposed to be doing. Even if his sock is in his hand, he'll have to be reminded multiple times "DS put your sock on...the sock in your hand, put it on...put the sock on your foot" etc. The same with using the toilet. He can go by himself but struggles with wiping and washing hands after. Would just stay seated on the loo for god knows how long until someone comes to help. He knows he needs to do it but just isn't able to.

Off the scale emotional outbursts, sensitivity to loud noises and fear of animals.

Also, he often appears to zone out. It's like he can't hear anything you are staying. A childminder described it as him being "away with the fairies". I think this is a coping mechanism for him. When things get too much/too hard he just switches off.

There is probably more but hopefully that helps a little?

I'm dyspraxic so is david bailey (famous photographer) his wife set up the dyspraxic foundation.

I suppose I'm probably not severely affected. I can drive, I obtained a first class degree at a top arts university. I like some sport but never tennis group/dance lessons etc.. my maths is appalling..

Dyspraxics are highly creative it's often said that not only do we think outside the box we never had a 'box' in the first place!

Celebrate his difference and as he gets older concentrate on hobbies/interests he's good at because there will be some but you might need to think more creatively.. maybe not football but horse riding etc etc.. maybe not tennis but ninjutsu.. does he like clay?

A lot on your list above op is what a lot of 4 year old boys struggle with. Just try to keep encouraging him - you will have to be more patient.

He really enjoys his swimming lessons and is good! He also sings beautifully. He is the only person in our home that can!

Lavenderperkins I totally agree but equally I recognise that he struggles more than most.

Dd zones out it is sensory overload she just switches off she takes herself off to her room and if she has had a long day she just struggles with normal stuff and gets confused and anxious

I'm dyspraxic. I've got a degree and a masters. My life is completely normal, apart from I'm still pretty clumsy and I can't drive.

this is exactly what I was about to say. Not driving is a real pain, particularly as I do in fact have a license, and it is possible for severely dyspraxic people to pass the test on a good day... However, my GP made it very clear that attempting to drive would, whilst technically be legal, in fact be selfish and dangerous, like driving just under the drink drive limit... This applies to me though, not all people with dyspraxia.

That is my only real issue, to be honest, I am clumsy, can't dance, cycle well, colour in neatly, etc, none of this is a problem. I over compensate by being over organised a lot of the time, and my DC get fed up of arriving for appointments 2-3 hours early!

I am accident prone, and most years have a twist or sprain, sometimes a broken bone.

None of this stops me living a full happy life, and having a successful career.

O and by the way, I am useless at anything with small balls, tennis, badminton, hockey etc. If the ball is bigger I get on slightly better, netball, football, etc, but still keep accidentally fouling people

I excell at swimming and running though, and run one or two marathons a year

Doesn't really move his arms when running. They are held by his side if that makes sense. yes, this is me exactly! and I do get laughed at sometimes, only until I go sailing past the laughers at the ten mile mark in a marathon, and finish an hour or two ahead....

Oh lots of drummers are dyspraxic by the way and graphic designers.

I think ds2 (7) is and although he's taken 2 years to learn to cycle - he did it!!

I think as a child I suffered hugely from low self esteem and still do in some ways so as I said before really praise what he is good at!

That's fantastic longlost!! 😄

I forgot.. I was the fastest sprinter in my year group at school..!

As he grows he will learn coping strategies - I'm extremely organised because I have to be and my house has to stay tidy otherwise I unravel..!

From a very young age she has had to learn invaluable organisational strategies, the value of putting in effort to get a reward and many other things.

DD is dyslexic and dyspraxic and this describes her to a tee. She is at a RG uni now, hyperorganised and brilliant at thinking outside of the box. She is also exceptionally kind to people who are struggling in any area of their lives because she knows how it feels. As a child, dancing and karate were out - she just couldn't cope but enjoyed things like horse riding and swimming. She passed her driving test on the third attempt.

Quite a few of the children I work with are dyspraxic and I think assistive technology and greater awareness generally mean that it is easier for them to acheive their full potential as long as they get proper support.

Thank you. It sounds as if your ds had more obvious delays in certain developmental areas at a younger age, but a lot of what you say rings true - the zoning out definitely, sensitivity to noise and fearfulness.

Ds hit a lot of his milestones fine, but we have noticed things more as he's got older and since his younger sibling has started progressing with things like toileting and getting herself dressed - she is sailing through things he still struggles with a few years later. He is becoming aware of this too, now which makes me sad. He can't catch a ball and doesn't participate in any coordinated group stuff.

He is very imaginative/creative and a fantastic runner, and like you say his memory and vocabulary are both fantastic.

This is a very helpful thread, and hopeful too.

Yes indeed hopeful. It genuinely has given me hope.

I was crying yesterday as I was typing but today I feel positive and even more motivated to make sure he gets all the support he needs.

Just out of interest was he prem dd was premature and the thought it might have stemmed from therealso dh was born at 33 weeks so i was just curious to see if this is a link

my db had a difficult birth and was touch and go for a while. i think he was starved of oxygen but would have to confirm that with my dm.

Hi - you have had some great advice and descriptions on here, particularly Mermaid so i won't repeat, except to say that my DD is severely dyspraxic (didn't walk until two, severe sensory issues, can't organise easily, multi task, write with a pen (uses a laptop and extra time for everything) has meltdowns when over- tired/stimulated/loaded) ) as well as dyslexic, BUT she won a place at a competitive performing arts boarding school and is managing brilliantly despite compulsory dance lessons where she is consistently and hilariously the worst in the school (also the tallest at six foot aged fourteen). She is also very academic and aiming for the very top university despite difficulties which mean she needs extra time in exams, with homework assignments etc. What I am trying to say is that dyspraxia is absolutely something that may be with your DS for life but with the right support it will not hinder him - we have come so far from the days when it was just considered clumsy child syndrome and dyspraxia children just sat on the side during PE and felt miserable the rest of the time. It has really helped my DD to know that she is dyspraxia, and we taught her from an early age to ask people to give her space when she found the playground difficult, and largely, kids seem to understand, but I'm not going to lie, dyspraxia children can struggle with friendship groups.. It is a 'hidden' difference, and we have found that the rapidity of teenage conversations and social clues the toughest aspect of it to manage, so the earlier you can support your DS the less of an impact it will have on his social life.

I'm pretty sure that my 8yo DS is dyspraxic. He cannot ride a bike (and we have tried), cannot work out how to do anything buy a very young child's jigsaw, struggles to hit or catch a ball, he zones out a lot, he hates sudden noises especially hand dryers, struggled for a long time with getting dressed and still has problems with putting socks on so that they're comfortable (he can't ease them up or wriggle them round, he has to pull them on in one motion if you see what I mean) and lives in an imaginary world a lot of the time, making up elaborate stories with made up characters and narrates it all to me and tells me 'facts' about them.

He struggles to keep on task sometimes, so this is something i would be aware of if I were you and make teachers aware. DS can write a fabulous story in creative writing class, full of action, narration, description etc. But he will go off in a major tangent, and it can therefore be that he writes a wonderful story, but it hasn't been what he has been asked to write about as he has veered off so early on in the task. We live in an 11 plus area, and so he needs to answer the questions set in the exam, or he will not score!

DS was born at 37 wks. He is a twin so this is considered full term. However, his lungs were not fully developed and he needed help breathing. He spent a couple of weeks in neonatal and then a transitional ward before coming home.

Interesting about friendship groups. DS tends to cling to older children, in the playground for example. He then gets very upset when they have to go back into class. I think it's because he feels a bit alone and overwhelmed when not protected by someone older/bigger/stronger.

For me personally, dancing helped a lot. I had many years of lessons, and I was just terrible at it! But there was no pressure, I enjoyed it, and I think I am better coordinated now than I would have been if I hadn't done it. Its an option, but only like I say, no pressure, and fun, if you child LIKES it