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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

13 month old will not sleep in her cot!

14 replies

Jenski · 07/02/2007 09:12

My 13 month old is totally unable to go to sleep by herself. Every night she ends up in bed with me. When she was a few months old she would happily be put down and go to sleep, but now she wants to fiddle with my hair and seems to use this as her comforter! Have considered sleep programme but all seem to involve controlled crying which I am not against but I live in a flat and concerned about disturbing neighbours. I also have a 2 year old and she is a great sleeper so I don't want to disturb her sleep. Has anyone any suggestions?

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Original poster

Jenski · 07/02/2007 09:36

Anyone?

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LittleMamaT · 07/02/2007 10:56

We had similar problems a while back - controlled crying was the only thing that worked. It only took a couple of nights - 1st night DS1 cried for an hour and a quarter & then fell asleep (heartbreaking to hear but I'm a tough old bird when I need to be!), 2nd night he cried for 40 minutes, 3rd night - not a sound - he fell asleep straight away. I couldn't believe how easy it was and wished it I'd done it sooner!

Could you talk to your neighbours in advance? Do your children share a room? Mine do and I had to move the little one back into our room while we did this.

Anyway, good luck
xxx

starfairy · 07/02/2007 11:11

Have you tried the method where you sit in the room but keep head down & dont look or talk to her, and each night after that get a bit further away from her, till you are no longer in room with her.

Worked for me had Dd sleeping through on her own in a week. I do feel for you, my Dd was the same.

Lots of luck

Original poster

Jenski · 07/02/2007 11:51

Thank you Starfairy and LittlemamaT - I think I shall try sitting in the room and getting closer to door etc. first, if not working will try and be hard and try controlled crying! She is currently in our room but really want to move her in with dd1 soon! I'm soo knackered at the moment that I have been giving in and taking her in bed with me when she wakes up. So it is the middle of the night that I am most concerned about... Maybe sleep on the sofabed whilst doing this...

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starfairy · 07/02/2007 12:06

Dont worry you'll be fine. I had sat on the landing in the middle of the night soooo many times in that first week, but dont give in it's a battle of will with the little people. The end result will be so worth it.

All the best & let me know how you get on.

Original poster

Jenski · 07/02/2007 12:21

Thanks - will let you know

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cruisemum1 · 07/02/2007 12:26

if you don't fancy cc, you could take a look at The No Cry Sleep Solution book by Elizabeth Pantly.hth

juuule · 07/02/2007 12:27

Just curious. Is it a problem for you or do you think that she should be on her own now? Once she's gone off to sleep with you can you put her in her cot and let her sleep until morning? Is she waking in the night? Where does the problem lie? Do you just not want her in bed with you? If you let her sleep with you now, it could all be different again in 3-6 months.

Original poster

Jenski · 07/02/2007 17:06

Yes I was just looking for that book on Amazon! Heard that it is a good one to try.
This is the usual course of events -
After bath, has milk and cuddle and usually falls asleep with me on the bed.
I then put her in her cot and she stays asleep.
She will usually sleep in cot from 7pm until 10 or 11ish and then will wake up. If I can't get her back to sleep in cot then she ends up coming into bed. My dh will then up sticks (if we are in bed already) and sleeps in the lounge (early start next day!)
So she will stay in bed with me but lately developing a habit of waking up around 3am and really unsettled until about 5am.
I am not sleeping well because she wants to sleep so close to me that I end up on the edge of the bed. i am pretty sure she is not sleeping well because I keep moving her into middle of bed. If I try to move her to cot in the night she wakes up and cries! She wants to hold on to my hair!!!

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Original poster

Jenski · 07/02/2007 17:10

Oh and I'd like to add that she is not clingy during the day at all! I think she just doesn't like her cot!

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AlanasMum · 07/02/2007 17:23

I disagree with controlled crying and have found Elizabeth Pantleys book a life saver.
"every baby is different" and she gives a range of ideas so if one doesn't work theirs planty more to try.
dd is also 13months & a hair twiddler(doesn't it drive you crazy) if you work out how to stop this let me know.

Original poster

Jenski · 07/02/2007 17:38

Hair twiddling drives me nuts in the middle of the night when it becomes hair pulling!!! definitely going to try Elizabeth Pantley!

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LittleMamaT · 08/02/2007 09:15

Oh - the middle of the night is a completely different matter!! I can be tough in the evening when trying to get them to bed but if they wake up in the night they almost always end up in bed with us. All I can think about at 3am is getting more sleep and it's the only way. Also, my boys share a room so if one wakes up I get them out of there quickly before the other one wakes up too. I need a bigger house!!

Like you Jenski - I end up on the edge of the bed as my boys both like to be velcroed to me.

I don't have any solutions for the middle of the night - I'm just waiting for mine to grow out of waking in the night.

Original poster

Jenski · 08/02/2007 13:45

I need another bedroom ...... But last night wasn't soo bad. I definitely feel that I had more sleep than normal. Although dd2 still in bed with me by about half past midnight. And there she stayed until 7am with only a brief waking period. I was far too tired to even try putting her back in her cot.
I actually think she was tired because she has just grasped walking and was walking all over the place yesterday. I am hoping that this new found skill is going to wear her out and maybe improve her sleep!

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