Recently moved countries - 4.8yr old dd temper/tantrums awful

[scully]

Our dd1 will be 5 in April and the last few months she has developed some awful tantrums with screaming and sobbing so you just can't reason with her. It can usually be dealt with when we're at home so she calms down, but when we're out it's another matter. Up until September she just wasn't like this - we had initially put it down to us leaving England and moving to Australia (where I'm from originally) - we arrived here in October. Before the move I never had to worry about her behaviour when we went out, she was generally a good little girl who would listen and take notice of what we were saying. Now, I explain before we go somewhere, what behaviour I expect etc, and almost every time, there is some drama that requires a tantrum and shouting match with someone, and then it's a catastrophe when we leave. She started school last week (prep, like reception) so I'm hoping once she settles in there and gets used to the routine and makes some friends that things will improve, but in the mean time, I just don't know what to do with her. We can't just stop going out, but every time now an outing ends with her performing. It's wearing us all down and makes me sad that I just don't enjoy being with her some days . Anyone else experienced changes after a move?

Please don't worry too much-this is so normal given all the change in her life recently. My Ds was appaling when he started in Reception-huge rages and aggression. I was also really woriied but it settled when he settled. She is still so little and no doubt it is her way of dealing with the emotional upheaval she is experiencing.

As wearing as it is I tried very hard in trying to weather the storm to stay calm and most importantly to be kind. I kept saying to myself "he is only little" whenever I was about to lose it ! it helped me not to fly off the handle.

hth

We had this with our ds (then 4.9) when we moved to Australia. It was behaviour of such awfulness that I had never seen before. We struggled with the dilemma of being sympathetic to his change of circumstances whilst managing behaviour that was beyond unacceptable. Things settled hugely once he went to prep then grade 1 and became involved in lots of activities where he made friends - swimming lessons, church/Sunday School, gymnastics, gymbaroo etc. I think the friends and routine activities thing is key. Good luck.

That is so reassuring to hear, the logical me knows why she is acting out like this, but the emotional me is really struggling with it, when it is just so out of character.
How long did you ds struggle after the move, hannahsaunt?

Probably a couple of months and then ok - maybe once he was not only settled in a normal routine but knowing that we weren't about to up sticks again for a while.

I've wondered about that, because we had to explain to her that we are 'borrowing' our present house (renting ) which is why we can't put things on the wall and hang up all our pictures etc. And the garage is still full of unpacked boxes, had thought that may be affecting how settled she will feel, regardless of school etc.

she has had a huge move to the other side of the world and then starting prep as well- a lot for a little one to take in.

Even my dd1 who is settling back into her routine after being on summer holidays is being a bit foul at the moment.

Plus it is hot and humid which really does take its toll on little ones.

I would give her time to settle into school and life here in Aus and I am sure things will improve.