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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DS16 refuses to have his picture taken

22 replies

K8tyjones42 · 26/08/2016 21:39

DS16 absolutely refuses to have his photo taken & it's driving me crackers.
Any time anybody is taking a photo he hides or makes a real fuss about not being in it.
I would love to have a photo of him and his brother & sister but he won't do it, the last one I have of the 3 of them is 5 years ago!
He's a good looking boy (I know I'm biased) he's got a gf, loads of mates & a great social life.
He doesn't even have a profile pic on his FB!
Anybody else got similar experiences? I'm sure he'll grow out of it but in the meantime there'll be no pics of his teenage years!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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AlwaysDancing1234 · 26/08/2016 21:43

When I was 16/17 I was hugely self conscious and hasten having my photo taken. The more my mother went on about it the more it became a problem (she was a bully though calling me stupid etc - I was just so shy).
Wouldn't be possible to have a relaxed day out to a lark or beach snd just get some candid shots on your phone or something rather than posed photos?

AlwaysDancing1234 · 26/08/2016 21:44

*hated having my photo taken

Original poster

K8tyjones42 · 26/08/2016 21:48

I've taken some clandestine pics of him before his brother told him that I'd put them on FB & he went on and on about them until I removed them. You couldn't even really see his face on them!

OP posts:

Acopyofacopy · 26/08/2016 21:53

He doesn't want you to post pictures of him on Facebook. Doing it secretly is a breach of trust.

Can you make a deal with him and promise not to share/display a picture taken of him with his siblings?

AlwaysDancing1234 · 26/08/2016 21:53

Reassure him that the pics won't be shared with anyone else or put on Facebook etc and he may let you take a couple just for you?

nikkinackienoo · 26/08/2016 21:56

My ds 14 was the same. However he asked me to not post them on any social media and I respect his wishes.
I'm sure in Facebook land people must think I only have 1 child and not 2 as is not in photos!

Original poster

K8tyjones42 · 26/08/2016 21:57

I have one picture of him on my wall (taken 3 years ago) & if someone comes around who he doesn't know or who he thinks may comment on it he takes it down!
I didn't realise how bad he was or I wouldn't have put pics on FB, just sad though as we were away recently in a group of 20 & we've a fantastic pic of us all apart from him

OP posts:

nikkinackienoo · 26/08/2016 22:45

I know what you mean, I feel awful that he's not part of family photos but hopefully it's something they grow out of as they get more comfortable with themselves

AlpacaLypse · 26/08/2016 22:49

One of my sisters was like this, and one of my daughters isn't much better.

I take the odd candid snap when they're not looking - but I don't post them on FB.

Sister is now fairly interested in old photos. DD2 will probably be interested later on. She's certainly very interested in old photos of our family dating back to 1920's!

Original poster

K8tyjones42 · 26/08/2016 23:04

I really hope that he'll grow out of it & in the meantime I guess I have to settle for secret photos!

OP posts:

Eva50 · 27/08/2016 21:07

I'm 52 and don't like having my photo taken. If someone posted clandestine photos of me on social media I would block them on social media and in RL. I was very wrong of you to do this. At 16 he is old enough to decide this for himself and you should be respecting his wishes.

AverageGayLad · 27/08/2016 21:15

Two years ago that could have been me.

DON'T do secret photos - that could permanently ruin your relationship.

It got easier for me as I gradually started to take photos of myself more, and as I got older realised I wasn't terribly ugly.

You need to respect his wishes.

blueskyinmarch · 27/08/2016 21:18

My 18yo DD hates getting her picture taken. I have precisely two of her leavers/prize giving day. To be fair i also hate getting my picture taken. I don’t angst over it. It is her choice (as it is mine) not to be in pictures.

PapaverSomniferum · 27/08/2016 21:19

Leave him the fuck alone, then! Why would you take photos of him without his consent and post them on social media? Why would you do that?

daisywhoopsie · 27/08/2016 21:21

All my in laws think I have an issue with people taking pictures of me/DS. I don't, I have an issue with them sneakily sharing them on social media.

Original poster

K8tyjones42 · 27/08/2016 21:29

Not sure my posted warranted a "leave him the f*ck alone" comment!
As I said the pics of him that I did have on my FB you could barely see his face! I don't want him to get to 18+ and then be bothered that there is no pics of his teenage years!!

OP posts:

AverageGayLad · 27/08/2016 21:49

But if he hates pictures he won't regret the lack of them..

LeonardInTheArgosBag · 27/08/2016 21:52

I would be furious if someone who I trusted took pictures of me without my consent, let alone put them on social media.

I would leave him be. If you stop making a fuss about it he might come round. If he doesn't, that's his call.

roundandroundthehouses · 27/08/2016 22:00

If he gets to 18+ and is bothered that there are no pics of his teenage years, that'll be his problem. Not yours, and there's no need for you to 'solve' it. He'll know perfectly well why there aren't more photos. And 'secret' photos are well out of order, never mind putting them on FB without his consent!

My 14 yr old dd2 is the same. I'm hoping she grows out of it, and my main regret is that (like myself at her age) she just doesn't see how pretty she is. But as long as she cooperates with things like passport photos, I wouldn't dream of forcing her or going behind her back. When she refused to take part in a class photo being taken as a memento for a teacher who was leaving, I did tell her she'd been very rude, and that it wasn't all about her. But as far as normal snaps go, I let her have her privacy.

Bubblebloodypop · 27/08/2016 22:03

Do not take his picture. He doesn't want you to. He will most likely grow out of it. His discomfort with having his picture taken is more important than your desire for these photos.

MrsJayy · 27/08/2016 22:07

You need to just leave him I have no pictures of Dd1 from 14-19 a few school pictures dont force him you know what he looks like you dont need a photo.

MrsJayy · 27/08/2016 22:10

If he was bothered about getting teenage years pictures he would be posing with everybody else he isnt so leave him

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