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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

PERIODS, ...What age do you need to have "that conversation" with dds?

36 replies

chocolatebirdy · 30/01/2007 12:39

Just wondering as saw a thread about good books to accompany the chat but just wondered when all this happens?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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colditz · 30/01/2007 12:41

aged around 8 or 9?

Original poster

chocolatebirdy · 30/01/2007 12:43

Oooh that would be about now then!!!

OP posts:

itsmeNDP · 30/01/2007 12:46

Ideally I would say that it is a good thing to given them age appropriate information as early as you can (same with where babies come from conversation), that way you are not going from 0 to 100 in one conversation 10 years down the line.

For example, my 4 y.o. DD knows that sometimes mummy bleeds from her 'twinkle' (I know the vagina police will leap on me for that one). She knows this bcause she follows me to the loo and used to ask about my tampon string (now I use a mooncup and she knows what that is for too), so I told her in the most basic and truthful way I could. The older she gets, the more explicit I will get with the info.

But if you have never had the convo, then I would say start asap with age appropriate info.

frogs · 30/01/2007 12:51

Like NDP said. Minus the twinkle.

Original poster

chocolatebirdy · 30/01/2007 12:54

she knows about babies and how they are made but not about the period side of things! She sees my tampons in the bathroom and dosent ask what they are for as just told her that they were "ladies things" when she asked when very young. Is it still the case that you can expect your dds to start their periods around the age their mums did? Or is that crap?!

OP posts:

itsmeNDP · 30/01/2007 12:56

lol frogs

Original poster

chocolatebirdy · 30/01/2007 13:01

Its a "penny" in the choccy house

OP posts:

frogs · 30/01/2007 13:01

Twinkle, NDP, really!

cb, I should get cracking if I were you. Doing little bits of information at a time is easier and less cringy than having 'the chat'. The first child in my dd1's year to start had her first period in Y4, so really don't put it off. Even if your dd doesn't start that early, there's bound to be at least one and probably several who start by the end of primary school, so she needs to know what it's about.

Original poster

chocolatebirdy · 30/01/2007 13:08

I suppose i have been putting it off as talking to her about it will mean admitting to myself that she really isnt a little girl anymore and is fast growing into a young lady, SCARY! Right well i will get back to the useful books thread and get cracking! Thanks all.

OP posts:

Listmaker · 30/01/2007 13:08

My dds are 9 and 7 and still regularly come in the bathroom with me and see me changing the moon cup. I think it's better that it's just something they've always known something about and it will all progress naturally from there. My sdd is 12 and still hasn't started hers though so 9 might be a bit young to go into all the details?

franca70 · 30/01/2007 13:09

same as NDP. my dc follow me to the toilet as well...

itsmeNDP · 30/01/2007 13:09

it was 'tuppence' when I was growing up, chocbirdy

Frogs, you should rename yourself FrogsTheVaginaPolice

itsmeNDP · 30/01/2007 13:12

I will say that my DH thinks it is most odd that I tell DD the truth about biological things. That's not a measure of anything mind, as the DSs are now 14.5 and 13 and he has never said a single word to them about sex, drugs and rock & roll.

joash · 30/01/2007 13:14

I'd think about doing it now. DD2 started her periods when she was 9 (DD1 was 17) so don't believe genetics has any part to play in when they start.

MrsWobble · 30/01/2007 13:27

it's covered in the year 5 curriculum I think - at least it was at my children's school. They were sent home with an envelope of leaflets etc "to be opened with your parents". I think this followed some sort of discussion/explanation at school but doubt that much really sank in.

We got the envelope, opened it, and then dh remembered he needed to fix the boiler (not that there was anything wrong with it or that he would have the first clue what do if there was) I then had a very brief chat with dd which we were equally embarassed about.

She is now year 7 and has just done human reproduction in science so revisited the whole thing. She still finds it embarassing so I told her that she shouldn't worry about it but just get on with it and get it over and done with. She told me that that was exactly what her (male) acience teacher had told them.

BarefootDancer · 30/01/2007 13:31

I have heard that periods start when a girl gets to 7.5 stone in weight. I dont know if this is true - anyone know?

At what point do you also tell your sons all the details?

SecondhandRose · 30/01/2007 13:31

You could have the conversation my mother had with me age about 11. "Do you know what a period is?"

"Yes".

"Good".

Still laugh about it now.

snorkle · 30/01/2007 13:32

Message withdrawn

frogs · 30/01/2007 14:03

I think snorkle is right. My dd1 is 11.5, tall and athletic build rather than skinny. I'm sure she's over 7.5 stone, but nowhere near starting her period, and the merest little pimply hint of boobs. I had a similar build to her and didn't start till 14.5. Whereas some of the girls in her class who have started are tiny little runty things well under 7.5 stone, but more developed.

I think there is a connection with body weight and height, but as ever it's not straightforward.

motherinferior · 30/01/2007 14:07

I just kind of work it into the conversation, although I will admit to being squeamish about explaining stains.

Bethbe · 30/01/2007 14:14

What's a mooncup?

Othersideofthechannel · 30/01/2007 14:17

That was my question. I've just looked it up
www.mooncup.co.uk

Original poster

chocolatebirdy · 30/01/2007 14:34

i googled it too!!!

OP posts:

nutcracker · 30/01/2007 14:45

God, my dd1 is 9 and I have never spoken to her about periods or babies or anything.

I was going to wait until school started discussing it and take it on from there.

DrumMum · 30/01/2007 14:46

Apparently.... when you start your periods you only grow about 2" more.. hence the shorter girls starting there periods early and the taller girls starting theirs later.. I think the 7 stone ish weigh theory is also right...

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