My children won't stay in their own beds.......

[veryverytiredmum]

I have a son of 4 years and a daughter of 2.5 years - we live in a small two up/down and they share a bedroom. Getting them to bed is no problem - we have a good routine, have two bed time stories and usually by the time I'm finished reading one of them is asleep - I then get a book sit outside their room until the other one is asleep and go downstairs (if I try to go down stairs before they are asleep they call out and we have to start from scratch). My daughter will wake several times during the night - sometimes I can settle her straight away - however recently (the last two/three months) she wakes up and if not allowed in our room will scream until she wakes my son. I have been very firm with her (not letting her in my bed until I'm soooo tired that I give in) - however she has now perfected the art of screaming until she is sick - I go to bed early and take he in with me - my son joins us 10 mins later - it has become a nightmare and I really do dread the nights....... Any help greatfully received.

Oh you poor thing I do sympathise. It's horrible not getting enough sleep.

DS2 (now 4) used to be a nightmare at night, he slept through the night only a handful of times before he was 2 (and for 9 months of that time I was pregnant with DS3!)

It does get better though. DS2 is wonderful now and although DS3 wasn't even nearly as bad as DS2, he still had his moments, especially with the leaving him to go to sleep on his own.

The key is to be firm and consistent. It is sooooo hard not to give in when you are so shattered yourself, but honestly, if you stick to your guns and tell them every time they come in at night, 'This is mummy's bed, you have to sleep in your bed' and take them back, eventually they will get the message.

You need to have time to relax yourself and if you can't even get time while you are asleep it drains you. Blimey, my DH could tell you that on many many occasions I have woken up in a terrible mood saying 'I don't even get 5 minutes peace when I am asleep!!!!!'

DS3 will now settle into his bed and go to sleep alone and rarely comes into our room at night. Ds2 tries the old sneak in with mummy trick sometimes, but we laways put him back and because he knows the score he doesn't kick up about it.

Just keep putting them back. It will mean a week of not a lot of sleep but it will be worth it in the end.

Take care and I hope you get some sleep soon x

Also I have to say that these small people know exactly which buttons to press to get us to do what they want, they all do it! You just have to be one step ahead of them.

Maybe a star/sticker chart for whoever stays in their own bed all night might work.

Just don't give in, they know they can get you to let them in your bed if you just give in once.

I found that saying 'Sorry, I'm too tired to take you to... whatever favourite activity you like... because you woke me up last night' worked wonders.
Also - during the day I am lovely cuddly, smiley mummy. At night my kids soon learned that if they weren't ill then they'd better not wake me as I was the grumpy, scowling, angry monster from hell and no way were they getting in my bed.

somebody told me she says "the fairies have been" and puts something in their room, i don't know how or when, but some excuse or other might work

think you need a big chat with them, a deadline for a night when Things will Change, a star chart with promise of much desired reward if they don't disturb you, and help from your partner. And iron resolve.
good luck

what worked for us was to let her into our room, but not into our bed - bring her pillow and blanket or somehting and put on floor by side of bed. eventually (took a long time i agree)she got fed up and stayed in her own bed.

I'll certainly try the sticker chart - have already cancelled a stay away this weekend after telling them if they can't sleep in their own beds then they certainly can't sleep at someone elses! However I was really looking forward to it and now feel as if I am being punished.......