Son nearly 3 said 'touch my willy'

[MyPeriodFeatures]

Son woke up in a really bad mood today. He said 'I want someone to touch my willy'. I just ignored him and he said 'mummy touch my willy'. I explained to him that grown ups should never touch and it's private. He then wouldn't get dressed so I went and did something else. When I went back in, he was on the floor, big fat tears crying and said 'I want you to touch my willy'. I repeated what I'd said and he shut me out of the room. He had a proper angry cry and when I went back in he said 'touch my willy' quite angrily.

I joked him out of this mood in the end but it worries me, is this normal behaviour or could it be the result of someone touching him. We did the underpants talk a few weeks ago, maybe that has backfired? Views and opinions all welcome. He's almost 3. A very bright, articulate and happy 3

I think you're overthinking OP, if he'd demanded you tickle his feet you wouldn't be concerned, and at 3 years old he doesn't know about social taboos. Don't worr

I would have assumed it was sore/painful to be honest, not immediately assumed he meant something sexual! My first question would have been why do you want mummy to touch your willy, does it hurt? And then go from there.

"Grown ups should never touch" is problematic! What if he hurts it, or needs help having a wee or you are helping him clean it?

It's consent that's important here.

I would have asked why then said "no thank you, I don't want/need to touch it and willies are private"

Did you ask him why at all? As a pp said, I would have presumed it was sore or something as my initial reaction.

Why didn't you ask him why?

What is "the underpants talk"?

The underpants talk is something the NSPCC (I think) have been suggesting to try and protect children from sexual abuse - IIRC basically about teaching young children that their private areas, under their underpants are private, belong to them, other people shouldn't usually be asking to look at them /touch them etc (as a pp points out, an exemption to this might be if there's some sort of injury down there and a doctor needs to see, but a doctor shouldn't do an examination down there without consent and a chaperone present), and to tell a trusted adult if they're uncomfortable about something.

Did he say why he wanted you to touch his willy, OP? Had he hurt it somehow?
The only time I've had similar from either of my DC was when DS1 fell over and managed to bump his willy on the way down so that his willy was sore. No serious harm done from the bump and we managed to find a way of calming and distracting him that didn't involve anyone going near his underpants, once we understood what the problem was.

Like others have said, it was probably sore and he didn't know how to express that other than wanting you to touch it.

Why didn't you just touch his willy! If my son said that I would have in a jokey playful way and then tickled him (not his willy) to make him laugh and that would have been the end of it. I really don't think you should look into it too far. His little sister is always grabbing his willy and he runs off screaming with laughter. It's innocent.

I think you need to ask him why he wants you to touch his willy

Is it sore?

He could be just curious about it . He would not be seeing it as a sexual thing.

Ask why

My first thought was that he'd somehow hurt it/infection.

justputyourshoeson. I don't think so if it's delivered right. In a non heavy way.

Thanks all for the reality check. I have sadly good reason to worry but still need perspective and you have given it!! Calm the heck down me! Xx