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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Dummy - yes or no?

12 replies

benandjane · 06/08/2016 18:41

Ok so firstly hello as new to the forum. This is an account my husband and I have created.

So we have a beautiful 6 week old daughter. She's generally been well behaved but has the odd moment where she has been crying but she's been well fed, nappy changed, lots of hugs and temperature fine! But nothing comforts her. On these occasions we have resorted to a dummy.

We have used the orthodontic ones and aimed to use it just if she's not getting to sleep easy and on the rare occasion in the day mentioned above and of course to be rid of it by 1 year at the latest.

I'm combo feeding - mainly bottle with Breast several times a day so not too concerned on this front but I have noticed she seems to stir more in the day and get visibly upset.

Do you think this is her getting more reliant on the dummy to soothe herself?

If so is this ok or should I stop her having it?

It's a fine line between her best interests and keeping sane so appreciate any advice from those who have experienced.

OP posts:

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Eva50 · 06/08/2016 19:14

All mine had dummies until they were Fourish. They all settled to sleep day and night really well and they are all fairly normal 20, 18 and 10year olds now. Go with whatever suits you best.

Clonakilty · 06/08/2016 19:20

I never gave mine a dummy so she resorted to using a towel. Not a small one - it had to be the biggest heaviest towel she could find. And she'd cry until she had it. I wish I'd given her a dummy, 'Towie' was with us until she was 6.

PamBagnallsGotACollage · 06/08/2016 19:22

Mine had one until 3. Gave it up pretty easily after they may fairy paid a visit to take his old dummies and left him a present.

The best advice I was ever given when he was small was to ask myself if I knew any adults who still did/ relied on the thing I was worried about. Works for everything: rocking to sleep, dummies, refusing to eat anything but pasta, carrots and yoghurt. My four year old now eats a variety of foods, goes to sleep on his own and can't remember using a dummy.

So, ask yourself if you know of any adults who are still reliant on a dummy and if not, go for it. Even if she does use joy to help her self soothe now, she won't always.

PamBagnallsGotACollage · 06/08/2016 19:22

*dummy fairy

PamBagnallsGotACollage · 06/08/2016 19:22

*dummy fairy

PamBagnallsGotACollage · 06/08/2016 19:24

'IT to help her self soothe.' Not joy!

Too tired!

Missgraeme · 06/08/2016 19:25

All my kids (11!)have had dummies. All talked early (did baby signing for fun too!) Older ones are in their 20's now and have perfect teeth!! (These being the reasons most avoid /restrict /take away at an early age!) Babies are born to suck!! Its either gonna be a bottle /your boobs or a dummy!!

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 06/08/2016 19:26

I gave DD a dummy about 8 weeks as she was very sucky and we were BFing. Didn't want to be attached all the time.
She had it for sleep only.
She's now 20m and still has it for night time and cot sleeps but doesn't need it for car, pram carrier etc sleeps. I see it as a sleep cue.
I do worry a bit about getting rid of it, but I'm guessing we'll wait til she's 2 or 3 and give it to 'the dummy fairy' or something. Since she only has it for sleep it's not stopping her speech or anything.

I also have a friend who was dead against dummies and didn't give her DD one, and a handful of times wished they had given in.

I say just do it, if it'll help in the short term it won't harm them in the long run. It's apparently easier to get rid of a dummy than a thumb.

PurpleOneWithTheNutIn · 06/08/2016 19:28

I was given some good advice on here recently when I asked for tips on how to get my 12 month old to give up/cut down on his dummy. It is his comforter, he is attached to it and it gives him reassurance. I decided not to take it away yet, he's still little.

I also think dummies are easier to give up than a thumb, for instance. I sucked my thumb till I was about 7! I've never heard of s child having a dummy at that age.

TheUnseenAcademic · 06/08/2016 19:31

Neither of mine would take dummies but I understand that they actually decrease the risk of SIDS (Wikipedia is my source!) so that would be a big enough bonus to outweigh negatives for me. And yes to them being better than thumb sucking as you can remove them when older...

Strawclutching · 06/08/2016 19:33

Oldest child had a dummy. It was very easy to get rid of (about 40 minutes of crying and cuddles).

I've been trying to get my youngest to take it but she wants her thumb which I think is going to be a lot harder to get rid of!

CatsAndCocktails · 06/08/2016 19:42

I think you need to look at your reasons for not giving your child a dummy. Is it just that you have a preconceived idea that it makes you a bad parent or you look down on them? There is a reason why so many babies and children find dummies a comfort and for those under six months they are known to reduce the risk of SIDS. The problem with them is when children constantly have them in their mouths but as a sleep aid or to provide comfort, they have their place for some babies/children and work well.

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